Conversation is Beyond Talking

 Today's era can also be called the era of communication. There is a lot of dialogues and discussion going on. We Chat in various apps. Messages are being sent everyday.  We have quick updates on everything in no time. Voice notes are also a part of this chit chat. Silence is filled with all types of words. We TALK or we CONVERSE. We always stay connected.\, heard or not heard... that's a different story. 

Talking and conversing are two different things. Talk is casual and general.. it is what we do in our everyday lives at home, at work, and even online. But the real conversation is deep when we listen snd ruminate. Talking is like having a transaction where two or more people are speaking and no one is actually paying attention to what is being said. There is only exchange of words without any acknowledgement and comprehension.

On the other hand while conversing the level of understanding is high. things are listened to and comprehended also. It is about presence of the speaker and listener as well. A real conversations mellows down the pace and allows the words to sink in. You are not hurrying to finish your talk, you are letting the moments to unfold , even if it is no certain. It is not merely listening to the one who is talking but responding to. In a true conversation, words are not simply spoken or heard, they are received, chewed, and felt.

Talking is easy. Everything is under control. It is in your hand what you want to convey and what you don't want to reveal. Conversation is not the same. It is a live demonstration of your feelings, Which is why podcasts sound more real than the interviews. We see through people in the conversations. You don't have walls built when you converse. You share your emotions and be true to yourself. It is when people finally feel seen and not handled. There is a connection built up when we converse, it is not something made , it is felt. 

While talking you can be cautious about your reputation and all but during conversation you bare yourself which is why conversions sound real and more life like. You may risk your truth, as lower your guards while in conversation with some one. This is the reason why there are less of conversations as very few dare to let their secrets open.

Talking is everywhere whereas conversations are rare and few. Conversations are intentional. there is a direct communication between the two. Every on part of the conversation feels and listens and then takes it further. Simply talking may means only to react to what is being said. don't make a connection when we simply talk. But there is some bonding made when we converse . Now that relation is a true one.  

A genuine conversation can heal what a thousand empty words cannot. This is what conversations are meant for. Because at the end of the day, people don't just want to be heard and seen ..... they want to be felt

Saying NO

 Saying NO is not about becoming cold towards someone ... it is about becoming honest. Many a times it is not natural to say no. It can be about being honest. Most of the times we agree because of our upbringing as we are groomed to be helpful, accommodating and most of all agreeable. We may also be fearing disappointing others or being misunderstood or above all appearing to be inconsiderate. Rest assured saying no to someone may be considered as self-respect.  

Always saying yes to everyone and everything is about degenerating our own selves. Our time, our energy and most importantly our mental peace comes first, always. It is about letting the world know about our limits. It is for everyone to remember where the boundaries are. We need not explain ourselves to anybody... i mean anybody at all. As every time we agree to something we may not agree within us we distant ourself from out true self. Many a times it gets converted into exhaustion and even frustration. Boundaries are there to be maintained and respected by others as well as our own self. Such dividing lines grow stronger day by day as more you practice saying no, the more natural it becomes. You don't have to struggle all the time. As the time passes people around you also become aware of your not always agreeing to them. People start accepting as they know you are not pushing them away but leading to a healthy relationship. 

There can be times when there will be risk of being left out or judged or replaced. Saying yes may lead to keeping things smooth, relations unhindered and mainly keeping people happy. Saying yes out of habit can make you uncomfortable in the quieter times. We may  feel the weight of it. That heaviness can not just be translated into just fatigue but  disarray of thoughts. 

There will certainly be people who would be disappointed with your newly acquired behavior because they are not used to this new you who can say no to them now. Not because you are wrong but your new limits have disrupted their expectations. Let not such expectations disturb you and deviate you from your path of staying right. And also you are not responsible for how others feel about that. Your mental peace lies above all these. Self-neglect is not the kindness that is expected from you. Being constantly available is confused with being inconsiderate.

There can always be a new start. Start small. Practice saying no in everyday tasks where agreeing drags you down, demean you. So take a deep breath, take a brief pause and say no. That's all you have to do. But that does not mean that later on you repent on your no and you are doing what was being told to you. You will have to stand for yourself. For this you will have to understand your reasons for declining. When  you know why you said no; you become less guilty conscious. It may because of your priorities. Now that you are giving importance to your own self, you need not justify yourself to others. There is no need to make justifications in front of anyone, but it should feel good inside you only.

You will feel lighter once you achieve this. And slowly people around you will start respecting your limits. This will make you happier Because you chose your own self above everyone else.....

Growing through Change

 It is always said that change is not the enemy but a silent teacher. It is one of the major constants in our lives. Whether we accept it or not, welcome it or resist it, it exists, it continues to unfold before us, Things change, situations change. and so do the people. It happens not because life is unstable but because life is always on the move.  

Things tend to change, sometimes quietly, sometimes suddenly. one may feel that everything that is going in life [n a smooth manner and in a jiffy, things take a sudden turn, that change can be for bettre or for worse, only time will tell. Change may not always be comfortable, but one thing is sure that it is meaningful. the things which seem to be permanent part of life often turn slowly into memories. Time always moves ahead and so do people and things associated with them. Things, when they change, may bring clarity to the matters. 

Situations are circumstances or conditions, as we may find ourselves in at any given time. they are influenced by so many factors such as our environment, our choices, our responsibilities, our health preferences or even our relationships etc. Sometimes time is also a determiner of changes that happen around us. It is not who we are or what we are but where we are at a particular point of time. 

The alterations in the situations maybe seen or sometimes they may be invisible. What may look like everlasting today, can or will fade away tomorrow. It can transform into something else. And actually, when we comprehend that that everything is short lived and evolving, we stop being defined by them. A bad moment does not define the whole scenario. The change in situations teaches us patience, build resilience, bring up confidence, open our perspectives. We begin to realize that the situation is the not the whole story, It is only a small part of the big picture. They make us or break us. better to use this change in a better way, to grow stronger and wiser version of ourselves.

And, when other things are changing, how can people fall behind? People often grow, evolve, move to different directions. It is not always necessary that people move apart only because of some conflict or contradiction. It may be because of education, job, transfer, or even in search of better opportunities. In fact, we often expect people to remain the same, behave in the similar manner, have same outlook forever, that is, we want to see them as we met them the first day. but in reality, people do change, rather they evolve as they grow in life and experience a lot of things. sometimes they closer, sometimes they move apart, sometime become kinder. Whatever the change may be, but this is for real that they outgrow their old versions of themselves.

Truth is that the world around us is ever-changing. it is transforming every day. everything... values, culture, technology... everything keeps shifting. The things that seem impossible become common. Such changes bring development, progress and new beginnings. If we hold to older versions, it will result only in irritation and anger and frustration. 

Instead of opposing or fearing the change, go along with it. Life becomes easy when go with the flow and start trusting the process. They changes build us slowly and strengthen our foundation of life. we must choose to see change as life lessons that allows us to move through our lives with courage and clarity.....

Be gentle with yourself

                                 We often hear this phrase..... " Be kind to others". Actually, it is a good habit to inculcate. But have we ever thought of "Be kind to your own self." Just as the saying goes... Charity always begins at home. If we are not kind enough to our own selves, how can we offer grace to others? Kindness towards others is praiseworthy, but isn't it worth listening to one's own self, if not always, at least once in a while? Actually, it is to be done more often. It is like loving onwards, not outward.

                                  Being good to yourself does not equate to being selfish or indulgent. No, certainly not. It's about acknowledging your worth, listening to your needs, and treating yourself with the same compassion as you do to others. Self-care includes giving compliments to yourself when nobody is looking. It is not a luxury but a necessity, a quiet strength, as we need to take care of ourselves, too.

                                     It is often said that true beauty radiates from within. and being good to your own is in itself an act of kindness. If you are at peace with yourself, happy in your own, it will reflect on your face. Self-respect cleanses our soul and mind, and body.  The energy of those who are in awe of their own 

dispel a different type of aura. You can also say no to save your self-respect without feeling guilty. When you hold adoration for your emotions, a glow appears on your face.

                                        Learn to say  I am worthy, I am allowed to make mistakes, and then learn from those mistakes. It's good to be your own critic, but there is a fine line between being a critic and being rude.  Your inner voice may be quite loud and negative we just need to tone it down. Be gentle with yourself. Here's what we are not talking about self-pity pity but self-respect. We need to say this time and again... I am doing the best I can, and that's enough.

                                              One more aspect of self-love is taking rest whenever and wherever needed. It is not being lazy and lethargic. Rest is part of your routine that you need to break through the monotony of work. And taking rest is not committing blasphemy. You are a soul in a human body, and it is human to take rest. Taking a pause from your routine is not a crazy thing to do, but rather a wise decision to recharge your batteries, getting ready for new challenges. 

                                                      Another major thing that we can do for ourselves is not to run after perfection. Because Perfection is an Illusion. There is so much beauty in imperfection. It is about getting everything right,  in perfect order. It is about being real. And real means flaws, blunders, and making mistakes. The main thing is to get up every time you fall and learn to move ahead and grow from your fumbles. It is more than okay to be imperfect. 

                                                  Last but not least thing is to find joy in the little things of life. We must learn to enjoy morning tea, walking in a cool breeze, and raindrops falling on our faces. We must smile too often to enjoy the present moment. Even reading a good book can alleviate our mood and work wonders for us. These small gestures are not small at all - these are life-saving.

                    So, beginning from today, Be Gentle to Yourself. Say only good things to yourself. Be soft with your heart. Nourish your soul. Because you are beautiful. You deserve all the best things in your life. Just because YOU ARE WORTH IT>

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Self Care is Therapy

Life can get a little or sometimes a lot overwhelming. There are so many things to do, so many goals to achieve, so many deadlines to meet or so many expectations to have. There are pilings of emotions and responsibilities that pull us in every possible direction. We deal with all these effectively and tactfully. The only thing that gets forgotten or often neglected is our own self. 

               And which is why self care has become more than necessity. In the world that is constantly demanding our attention, energy, and time self care takes us back to our own self. It is our decision to protect our peace, respect and needs and choose our own well being unapologetically. 

                 Mind you, self care not only means having face masks and spas and baths everytime, it is whole lot more than that. Though these rituals matter. An occasional warm bath, a slow cup of tea, even a skin care routine can have a lot soothing effect. But self care include a tonne more than that. It needn't be a big, fancy, or perfect. It's a small, loving ways you return to yourself - daily. It can be a deep breath, a moment of silence or a hard NO, it c-o-u-n-t-s.

              Saying NO is an art to refuse to do something without hurting someone. It's a way of telling others what you want. And for this, you must know first hand what you want so that you can see that you are not getting it. You have to know your values. There is right or wrong way to do this. Just make sure that you are honest, uncompromising, and not under anyone's influence.

              Next comes stepping away from toxic people and their conversations that take away your peace of mind. Don't take everything to heart, don't make every conversation  personal. You need to understand that such people's behaviour arises from their own issues and not a reflection of you. 

               Self-care includes listening to your self, catering to your own needs, your own emotions. And when you begin to do that you experience a different kind of calmness prevailing in your mind. In the process you start pinpointing the emotions that are hindering your tranquility. Just as you start recognising the things which are stopping you, you will slowly have your power back. And then your peace will be your own and not dependent on anyone else. 

                You may have noticed till now that self care is not at all about being selfish. It is for the survival. It is supposed to be maintainance of self. It is the most basic things that can be done for for your own being. It is having self respect. Just because you take care of yourself,  in a way, you tell the world how you are to be treated. Above all, you yourself remind that you are worth the care. Self care is how we heal, how we reset, and how we reclaim our peace. 

Just as someone said.

" Self care is not a luxury,

 it's a declaration 

I am worth my own time,

Energy and love.."

So this week do something that reminds you...... I MATTER.......

              

Wanderlust......

 Wanderlust is hunger. It is a strong desire to travel and explore the world. In today's world, life tends to be busy and stressful. So it becomes necessary to cut all the ties from the daily routine for a while to relax and reset the system. Traveling is getting out of your comfort zone and getting exposure to new things, getting to know new people, and getting the hang of new traditions and cultures of new places. Coming across things other than your daily life makes you more understanding and adjust to different situations. Travel is about pushing yourself out of your comfortable life to try new things. Our daily routine at home and work can make us stuck, stagnant, and uninspired. It also helps to break the monotony of our regular life and allows us to experience and explore the novelties of things and people around us. 

Along with this, traveling aids you in embracing new perspectives by visiting new places, meeting new people, come in contact with new cultures helps build confidence which may help us to communicate with strangers. Wanderlust boosts your urge to experience the unknown and be able to face the unseen. It also expands our capacity to wonder and appreciate the diversity of our world. it enables us to love the world and enjoy being in the moment. 

For the young generation, it serves as the experience of getting knowledge of new people, places, food, and traditions.  It is always better to have first-hand experience than to read it from the books. It is like rewiring our brains as they get ready to adapt to new conditions and atmospheres. You become ready to be creative and accept new ideas. this is why wanderlust brings happiness and joy to otherwise dull and colorless lives. Moreover, meeting new people, learning new languages, and tasting new food promotes a sense of compassion, It also heightens our tolerance as it alleviates our willingness to receive the newness of this world wholeheartedly. Travel reduces the fears that come out of the misunderstanding about certain people and places. On the other hand, it induces love and happiness when we are surrounded by new experiences at new places with new people in a new environment. 

Traveling generates fresh memories of life and further cements our belief in the wonders of interpersonal relationships. The one who travels will be able to tell the elation and delights of discovering the latest things and the pleasure of meeting people altogether gives excitement beyond measure. Coming together with new people from different backgrounds gives insight into their lives and helps us decipher what they think and why they think the way they do. 

You gain so much wealth of knowledge and experience as you have so much to tell about the places you've been, people you've met, food you've eaten, and things you've seen. Every time you travel, it's a wholesome experience in itself. Each time the journey brings forth new challenges, and unique places to visit which help us to discover our own strengths am weaknesses, likes and dislikes, etc. 

Basically. traveling is amazing in knowing the world around us and also discovering new things about our own self. It will not be an understatement to say that travel gives us experience, teaches us gratitude and works on personal growth.

Let's be in present

                                                              We see that these days everyone preaches to live in the present. What is this? What do you actually mean by living in the present? Aren't we living in the present? How can we know if we are living in the present or not? Actually, living in the present means that we think and plan about our present only. See, what happens is, that most of us are lost in our past thoughts past happenings or are busy making plans for the future. When we are thinking about things happened to us in the past we linger around those happenings for longer periods. As a result, there is an impact on our thoughts and actions. In such a situation, during conversing with others, we talk about our past lives, past friendships, past successes, or even failures. We forget to acknowledge the significance of the present moment which is today.

                                                    Take for example, if our meeting didn't go well and we spend most of our night tossing and turning in planning how corrections can be made in the next meeting or so. Well, in a way, it is good for our future projects but in the process, our mind is jumping from past to future and completely forgetting about the present when we lose our peace of mind. These stressful moments will hijack our efforts to get rested. Such lingering harms our performances and sometimes our relationships too. 

                                             In reality, we all do it. All of us think about our gone days and plan about upcoming times and in the meantime, feel free to be in the present, breathe, and have some peace. It is natural for us to stay in the past reminiscing over the previous events for long long period and also getting worried about the things to come. IT SHOULD BE A VISIT AND NOT A LONG STAY.  And more so, staying in the present doesn't at all mean doing your work and getting through the day. It means you and your mind are focused on what is happening now. It is noteworthy to anchor your thoughts and actions on what matters now. This will energize you, and motivate you to achieve your goals.

                                          By not emphasising on the present can result in distraction from what is important. This can lead to mental tension and take a toll on personal as well as professional lives.  To avoid such occurrences we must learn to lay stress on existing situations and not get stuck in what happened in the past and over-prioritise future events. Living in the present can reduce stress and help us learn from our past mistakes and build a bright future. When you are in the present you are not concerned about the failures of the past nor you are afraid of the future anymore. 

                                             The main reason behind our trips to the past and future is that we have so many questions to which we are searching for answers. In such a case, we will have to make peace with the thought that not every question has an answer, and not every lock has a key. Furthermore, in life, many things are out of our control.   So, it is useless to blame yourself on such matters. this will lead to fewer regrets and more memories to cherish. 

                                                       Stay in the present. Enjoy what is happening now. Love what is there today. Take each moment as it comes. and see how this changes your life forever.                                          

                                            

healing is a process..

 It is said that time is the best healer. It is not such that things turn good and the wounds on our souls are healed. Actually, as time passes we tend to forget the actual pain and hurt caused by some person or some unpleasant incident or some personal loss; in the process, the feeling of distress gets reduced. As a result, we have a feeling that the sting of the wound has healed. In case we keep the wound and the pain very much by reliving the painful moments again and again, the uneasiness and the sorrow always remain there. this anguish can be with us even if many years pass. We can still be mortified as our wounds may bleed time and again and cause as much pain as they did the very first time.

what we observe from this is that the healing process of hurts is a mental process and not physical. Just as in our childhood, our boo-boos were cured by our mother's gentle touch and kiss. She used to make us feel better sometimes just by picking us up, wiping our tears, and listening to our endless rants. Her touch would heal our cuts and gashes and fights, healed our pains, and eased our suffering. Do our mothers have magical powers? No doubt, magic was there. but in our minds. We have an unshakable faith and trust in our mothers. In our minds, we consider them our safest haven. Our brain used to tell us that everything is going to be alright which in turn eased our discomfort.

But when we grow up we forget the power of healing. We need to remind ourselves to patch our trauma. start learning to get well and making ourselves better on our own. To begin with, we ought to learn to forget the pain, as we keep on clinging to the saddening feeling it will no longer serve us better. It will make the matter worse. The longer we keep our attention on the pain the stronger the impact, and the pain becomes worse and worse. As we keep on reminiscing, the same amount of pain and unhappiness will be experienced every time. so dear ones, it's time to move on. Yesssss. Move on. and let's just stop scratching the old wounds and begin with the healing.  

Why be Happy

                                                            A few days ago, I read a story about a childhood story of John Lennon. In his school, his class teacher asked all the kids what they wanted to be when they grew up. Someone said he wanted to become a doctor, some wanted to become an engineer, a few wanted to fly a plane, and even one wanted to be an astronaut. Little John, who was sitting at the back of the class and was listening to what his mates were saying. When the teacher asked him the same question, he replied that he wanted to be HAPPY when he grows up. Everyone started laughing at him. But the teacher called him.  Her eyes teared up because she understood the gravity of the little one's answer.

                                                            Actually, only this is what all matters ... HAPPINESS. It is the only thing that we strive for our whole lives. We struggle to achieve our goals, whatever it may be. Do all sorts of things to be happy. buy new clothes. Travel. Eat. Sleep. Work. Earn money and many other things. All this is done to be happy. So now, the question arises why we want to be happy. The reason is that being happy generates a feeling of fulfillment. It makes us feel good. It makes us satiated. 

All of us want to have a healthy and excellent relationship with our life partners, kids, friends, colleagues, subordinates, business partners, and whatnot. when we have a lovely alliance with people associated with us it gives satisfaction which in turn makes us happy. this satisfaction leads to the conclusion that whatever efforts were put into the smooth going of the purpose, it has achieved its goal. the efforts were worthy. this belief keeps us going ahead in life.

It is basic nature that we want good results in whatever we do. All the hard work would be put in to obtain the desired results.  No one wants to do a fruitless job. Remuneration in any term will always be welcome. That would bring happiness. sometimes hefty payments also lead to stress and depression because the satisfaction and the outcome do not feel upright. the positive results are always easy to deal with as compared to the negative ones. positive results keep us going ahead whereas the opposite ones force us to get stalled and work better on the same all over again.

There are so many situations that we face in our lives. Some are  easy to tackle as others make us sweat a lot. but what matters, in the end, is a decent outcome. That will make all the trials worthwhile. and make us a happy souls. 

and again get ready for the next battle of life.

Stay happy and go ahead in life.

You Are Enough

 Most of us, nowadays, have started viewing ourselves from others'  perspectives. and as a result, a thought creeps into our minds that We Are Not Enough. This feeling creates a labyrinth, a non-ending spiral of presumptions that somewhere we are falling short of our own aims and goals. This leads to dissatisfaction. Always thinking that somewhere something is lagging behind. Whatever we do, whatever we achieve doesn't give us happiness. There is always a gap to be filled. Well, to have the impression of soaring new heights is good but if that feeling gives you the stress of not have done enough then it is a matter to worry. If you find there is a gap between what you achieved and what you wanted then it is okay because there should always be room for improvement. This gives an impetus to your efforts. You can without falling strive for more. 

But it can take an ugly turn if it becomes an obsession that you have not done enough. And in the process self-blaming starts which further leads to self-depreciation. No one else but we pull ourselves down. It is good to be your own critic but we should also know where to draw the line. When to appreciate and pat our own back and when to hold your own self responsible for the nonachievement of goals. 

It is not always good to point out our own shortcomings. As the accomplishments may be far bigger than the failures. Otherwise, frustration is the only thing that remains with you to drown you with the feeling that you have not done enough or you are not enough. 

Moreover, if you demoralise yourself, others will never hesitate to step over you. In this way, you are providing them with the opportunity to degrade you, disrespect you, and trample you in every way. 

So stop saying that you are not enough. stop insulting your own self. You are your own best friend. No one but you can put yourself in high esteem. It is you who spends all the time with your self. So never demean yourself. Always be in high spirits and tell yourself that You Are Enough......

You are Enough

 Most of us, nowadays, have started viewing ourselves from others'  perspectives. and as a result, a thought creeps into our minds that We Are Not Enough. This feeling creates a labyrinth, a non-ending spiral of presumptions that somewhere we are falling short of our own aims and goals. This leads to dissatisfaction. Always thinking that somewhere something is lagging behind. Whatever we do, whatever we achieve doesn't give us happiness. There is always a gap to be filled. Well, to have the impression of soaring new heights is good but if that feeling gives you the stress of not have done enough then it is a matter to worry. If you find there is a gap between what you achieved and what you wanted then it is okay because there should always be room for improvement. This gives an impetus to your efforts. You can without falling strive for more. 

But it can take an ugly turn if it becomes an obsession that you have not done enough. And in the process self-blaming starts which further leads to self-depreciation. No one else but we pull ourselves down. It is good to be your own critic but we should also know where to draw the line. When to appreciate and pat our own back and when to hold your own self responsible for the nonachievement of goals. 

It is not always good to point out our own shortcomings. As the accomplishments may be far bigger than the failures. Otherwise, frustration is the only thing that remains with you to drown you with the feeling that you have not done enough or you are not enough. 

Moreover, if you demoralise yourself, others will never hesitate to step over you. In this way, you are providing them with the opportunity to degrade you, disrespect you, and trample you in every way. 

So stop saying that you are not enough. stop insulting your own self. You are your own best friend. No one but you can put yourself in high esteem. It is you who spends all the time with your self. So never demean yourself. Always be in high spirits and tell yourself that You Are Enough......

Generating Positivity

Nowadays it has become fashionable to talk about positivity. Why is this so? Why do we talk about making a conscious effort to bring positive thoughts to our minds? Why there is a need of cleansing our minds of all sorts of negative thoughts?

Well, I think that first of all we should be aware of the fact that we are bombarded with negative thoughts. Identification is a must. Because we cannot treat the problem unless we know what is causing us trouble. Then only efforts can be made to resolve the complications. Unless and until we see the dirt how can we clean it?

It is but natural that we don't stuff our minds with damaging ideas deliberately. They are part of the thinking process. Many a time such views get stuck forever. Not only do such ideas stay, but they also attract all sorts of other poisonous beliefs too. These result in anxiety and depression and excessive worries and overthinking... The list goes on.
 
We must stop the process and try to break the chain of such unhealthy notions. Just as we make extra efforts to make dirty things tidy similarly we must try hard to remove such damaging thoughts from our minds.  We also need to recognize the fact that most of the time such thoughts are the results of the insecurities of our past. So let's be thoughtful while doing the cleansing thing.

So just as we sweep our abodes we need to cleanse our thoughts and their storehouse too.

Lazy Sunday

 

It is said that God made this world and its beings in six days and on the seventh day He took a rest. He looked at his creations and was happy about them all. The same rule applies to us humans also. Just as we work relentlessly throughout the week i.e. from Monday to Saturday we also need to recharge our batteries for the coming week. Or at least if not a particular Sunday any one day of the week should be taken for rest. 

It should be a rest day, not doing - the other - pending -work - day. One should get up late. Enjoy some late morning tea. Having brunch. Watch a movie. Going out. Have takeaway meals.  In other words, doing whatever refreshes you and you get ready to take the coming week head-on. Some of us do this but most of us have kept Sunday to do the leftover or pending household work. Cleaning. Washing. Buying groceries. Getting a haircut. Being engrossed in all this, we forget the real purpose of the weekly off day: to recharge our over-exhausted batteries. 

If we see all these in a broader perspective we may notice that all these activities are preparing us for the coming workdays. They are in a way preparing us but what I mean is about mental recreation. Where is the time for family, for your own self? If it is not possible to take out the whole day for yourself make it a point to keep a few hours or at least one hour for your own self. Do what you want to do. Groom yourself. Pamper yourself. Laze around. Sleep. Watch something online. There should be time at least once a week where you allow yourself to do the thing that you won't do otherwise. Plan a holiday with friends if possible. If not feasible, then plan to go on a solo trip. Do whatever it is possible for maintaining good mental health. Have a good "Me time".

Staying healthy mentally as well as physically should be our major goal because a healthy body and a sound peaceful mind can help you gain your other aims in life. Think and work out a plan to have a lazy day whenever possible.

 

Indian words in English language

It is said that every language should be adaptive of new words. It should be continuously developing, coining new words, adding more vocabulary to it. Otherwise it would be called a dead language. It is a fact that language keep on evolving over the time. The meanings of the words may change. Many words go out of use and many new words come into being. One of the major reasons behind such alterations is migration. People migrate from from one place to another and interact with people speaking other language. In order to get accepted knowingly or unknowingly new words and expressions become part of  to the language. And English is not an exception. This type of diversification is part of journey of any language. 

The British were here in India for more than three centuries . So it was but natural for the British to adopt words from Indian languages and anglicize them. Most of them are now part of English language dictionaries too. Basically the British were different from Indians as chalk and cheese and so were their languages. Language was a barrier to connecting with Indians . On the other hand Indians were obliged to  learn english as it was official language of British India . Thus it was a middle path for the British to incorporate some Indian words in their spoken language , at least, for better communication. Let's view some of them.

bunglow                  Bengali       bangla used for a big house with garden. 
cot                           Hindi           khat or khatiya
tomtom                    Hindi           horse driven coach
palanquin                Hindi           palki or a single person conveyance, carried by several men
avatar                      Hindi           the descent of a deity from heaven
bandana                  Hindi           bandhana or tying or to tie something
bangle                     Hindi           bangri  or a type of bracelet
blighty                    Hindi            vilayti  used for a foreigner especially from England
cheetah                   Hindi            cheetah
cummerband          Persian          kamarband means waist band
dacoit                      Hindi           daku means bandits or a group of outlaws who commit planned robberies
dungaree                Marathi         trouser worn by labors from dongri area of Mumbai
masala                    Urdu             mixture of herbs and spices
guru                        Hindi            teacher
jodhpurs                                       trousers loose at thighs and tight below knees. It was worn mainly for                                                       horse riding. It is named after the city of jodhpur.
jungle                     Sanskrit          uncultivated land or forest where wild animals live.
khaki                      Urdu               of dusty color   derived from word khak i,e. dust
karma                     Sanskrit          result of one's actions
loot                         Hindi              robbery
maharaja                Hindi             a great king
mantra                   Sanskrit          chant or meditation
pundit                    Hindi              scholar or the learned one
pyjamas                 Urdu              garment to be worn on leg
sepoy                     Persian           sipahi or soldier
shampoo                Hindi              champo i.e.  rubbing oil in hair and then washing them
roti                         Hindi               Indian flat bread made from wheat

Nothing Is Either Good Or Bad, But Thinking Makes it so

This is a Shakespearean quote in the play Hamlet, when Hamlet tells his friends, who have come to spy on him, that Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so. Well it holds true, you know.as  people differ their thinking also differ, just as one action or idea can work for someone but foe  others it can prove to be futile.  it is because there can be things which are right from one person’s point of view and the same can hold wrong from someone else’s perspective. For example staying up late can be wrong for some but some can be on duty at late hours. So how can it be said that staying up late is right it is or wrong.

Right from the beginning we are in a habit of labelling things as good or bad, as right or wrong. Just like that. We have been taught from our young age that certain tasks or notions are good and some  aren’t. This is because of our age-old philosophy of the majority rule which says what is good for the majority of people is good and what isn’t, is considered bad for all. This is why there are many concepts which are considered to be good and bad. this impression can change with the passage of time as thinking of people may change. Just as in earlier days it was not considered good to send girls to school. Can we say that now? No. Why? Because the perceptions have changed. Now it is said that teach a girl and get the whole family educated. So what is good and what is bad  is only a perception and a point of view only.

Let’s take the example of gambling. One may enjoy it and like to spend most of his earnings on it. It may give pleasure to him and to him his gambling is good. But what about his family. They might be suffering. So, the same thing i.e. gambling is bad for that person’s family. Again that question stands, whether gambling is good or bad. We can say so far that unless a person’s habit does not harm his family it may be tolerated but as soon as it starts affecting his family in adverse manner it becomes bad.

There are so many things like these which need our second thoughts before categorizing them into good or bad. they are highly dependent on situation, environment and even person to person. it depends on the individuals how you perceive certain matters and how you react. 

Destination or Journey... What is more important

Destination is the goal we want to reach whereas journey towards it is the process that we follow to attain the required result. To be true.. both are important. Both are interwoven. Destination can be taken as an inspiration to put an effort and set out on the path of completion of the task.  

Destination can also be regarded as the the perception of WHAT is to be achieved and the journey is touted as the procedure of HOW the target is to be gained.

The achievement of the aim can be a moment or we can say the feeling of achievement can last for some time. But the whole mission itself is a process which takes physical and mental strength. That will take all the planning and execution of those plans.

Reaching a destination is the end of the task. While the journey towards it is the whole project. We take into consideration all the pros and cons of the undertaken task and it's process. It is where all our mental and physical boundaries are put to test. Also our personal relations also get tested.  

The process may lead to learning new things. Also we may unlearn some old beliefs. Beyond doubt, the feeling of pulling off target is awesome. For example reaching to the top of Mount Everest is something beyond words. It is once in a lifetime experience. But the journey to the top always is more fascinating as it enriches our lives.

The roads towards the finale is not very smooth. It would be bumpy and full of road blocks and hardships and benefits and accomplishments. Then the destination is reached. At that time there is a sense of fulfillment that overpowers you. That sense of achievement overthrows each and every pain that came along the journey. 

Our life itself is a journey where we have all types of experiences, till we reach our final destination

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The new 'normal'....

First it was 'Lockdown'. Now comes 'Unlock'. I assumed that lockdown was a new term coined especially for ongoing situations created by covid19. But no.., it's not new . It has been used several times earlier too. What actually New is the present state of affairs which arose due to this virus. It has been now almost  three months that we are facing such set-up. We have become quite used to all the restrictions and precautions. 

In the beginning there was confusion and chaos. But   now our routines have changes accordingly and so have we. This lockdown situation has changed our perspective about life  and everything else related to it. I think we have become very cautious about it. These days we have come closer to our family members as cooking sessions took place collectively. TV programmes are being watched together. Food is eaten with all the family members sitting along and sharing the account of the day's happening.

Our eating habits have changed. Less of junk food and more of hone cooked ones. That does not at all mean that our cravings has stopped for gol gappas and pizzas and burgers and momos and chat and all the fast food.... But still ...

With all the commotion and chaos of the virus and all the constraints and limitations.. nature has shown it's way. Somewhere Himalayas is being seen as air has cleared.. it is also known that ozone layer has repaired itself. Today I read somewhere that marine life is returning to Yamuna river which was being considered dead because of chemicals and toxins. 

Not only that people are getting married with the least number of attendees. Children are born. New ray of life is on the verge... 

They say that night is darkest before dawn. Let's all hope and pray that worst is over and the is going to be new start. Let's all pray to God that the new morning sun brings hope and new light in our lives. Hope all goes well in coming days and we get out of this situation as soon as possible..., 

Why Be Happy??????

A few days back I read a story about a musician John Lennon. When he was a kid, he was given an assignment by the teacher 'What You Want To Be When You Grow Up'. He wrote,"I want to be HAPPY". His teacher remarked that he didn't understand the assignment. Actually the teacher didn't understand life. When I read it I had goosebumps that how a little kid got it whereas most of us don't get it at all.

Without a doubt this is "it". It is the only thing that we strive for throughout our lives, that is HAPPINESS. We struggle a lot. do all sorts of things to be happy. Buy new clothes. Travel. Make new friends. Shift jobs. Sleep. Work. Even eat to be happy. May be which is why certain foods are called ' Pleasure Foods'.

Now the question is 'Why Do We Want To Be Happy'. It is because being happy makes us feel good. We get satisfaction when we get the desired results. Being elated may also mean that we are leading an easy life despite all the difficulties. All of us want amazing relationships with our partners, spouses, kids, colleagues, boss ... basically everyone in our lives. If we have affinity with most of them, we feel content. and this contentment leads to happiness. It concludes that whatever effort we put in keeping everything smooth..It paid well. All the pain was worth it. This 'worthy' feeling keeps us going.

It is our basic nature that we want fruits of actions and if the fruit is sweet it dispenses pleasure. We want only positive results. It is because desired results or positive outcome is easy to handle . Also it furnishes joy and adds to our happiness.

There are many things that we face in our lives. Some are catch , easy to tackle, we are elated. the unasked things give us displeasure, makes us unhappy. Such things are difficult to perform. They make our lives miserable. So why not be happy. Be merry.Get blissful.  Be elated. Become joyous.

Let's never be shy to be happy as it is the only life given to us. Live to the fullest.....

Forgive yourself.....

In life, you carry a lot of burden in your heads and hearts. You keep on piling on all sorts of hurts and pains in them. These could have been caused by others or could be self-inflicted. You keep on getting hurt time and again. Actually you don’t know what letting go is. What acceptance is? You simply are nailed into all these agonies. You are actually then hanging to the past. In a way you never know how to live in present.

What happens is, when someone hurts you, you keep on ruminating the incident again and again. Then you either blame others or you keep on blaming yourself for all the miseries. You keep on replaying them in your minds and thinking about all the answers you might have given. The things you might have done to stop them from hurting you. Even blame yourself for not leaving them. There are so many questions that remain unanswered and that’s what causes discomfort.

What you forget is that you cannot reverse the happening. You cannot go back into the past and change what had happened. So need to accept what has happened and realize the fact that what has happened has happened. No amount of lamenting and self-cursing can change it. So make peace with it. Let’s accept the fact.

Next step is to forgive yourself. Unless and until you make peace with your past you become miserable in the present. Make peace with your own self. And move forward in life. It will lead to the beautiful road to a beautiful life.  `

Choose to be happy...

You may or may not agree with me that there are certain days in our life when nothing goes right. Whatever you do goes wrong in one way or the other. All our efforts to mend go astray. Nothing seems to work right for you. And you are engulfed with stress, anxiety, and depression. As a result, being sad and gloomy becomes your routine. It lingers on and on and on…

For some days you won’t be able to figure out what is happening. By the time you realise that this was depression and sadness, you are addicted to it. Confidence is replaced by self pity. Remaining low becomes a habit. You won’t get out because somewhere inside you, you start enjoying such mental status.  You may feel like crying sometimes. And on some days you may cry your heart and lungs out. Even then you my not feel relieved or relaxed. 
Then the situation worsens. You start avoiding people. Shut yourself from the world. You don’t make eye contact anymore. You finish your work and rush back to your hideout. You start sitting alone for hours together and still have no thoughts. You stare into oblivion.

Believe me that’s when you need to take a U turn. Start making conscious efforts to be happy. Even if you don’t want to. Smile forcibly. Laugh out loud. Listen to music. Watch comedy… some stand ups may be… It is the only way out of the deep well of sadness. It is not something that you read in a book or see in a movie… it is real, so very real… being sad or happy is in our hands. It is our own choice.

Make the right choice. Bring happiness back in your life. As down the years you will laugh at your silliness about being lamenting over petty and unimportant things.

Of all the other things, you are who matters the most. So make yourself choose happiness over sadness…