Nothing changes like change

It is always said that change is the spice of life .. and the change comes in all shapes and sizes, in all the forms, all the times and all the aspects of life. There are many times in our lives when we think that nothing is changing but if we see a little bit carefully, lots of things have gone through the process of change.

Let's take example of traveling. There has been drastic advancement in the means and modes of transport. From speed to the looks of transportation, a lot has got under the change. I still remember as a kid when we use to travel, there was no need for reservation of seats in the train.  Simply we needed to go and occupy the seats and that's all. Gave a happy and safe journey. But one thing is for sure that the speed and the loom of the railways was something else. If we sit back and ponder over such memories we realise that we have certainly come a long way....

In between years things have  modified on lot. Slowly and steadily population increase and with that there was a stress on the trains also. As a result booking of seats became a compulsory thing. Lots of changes were there in the coaches which catered to the needs of the travellers.  In the mean time we also started doing that.

Now the scene has become more complicated. It has become almost impossible to travel without making reservation in the trains. That too if it is long journey and also along with family and friends. We too have shifted from sleeper class to A//C sleeper. Now we too travel with class. And even by air too. 

The people around us however remain the same. By same I mean all types of co passengers who were there in the A/C class compartment then and even now when we travel ac coach . There no change in variety of people. Some are very friendly and will be always ready to share their space with you. While there are others too who refuse to budge a little because it is their seat. They forget that every body has to get off the train, leave the compartment and the co passengers behind and get off at their respective destinations. There are kids, there  are old people, then there are people of all the colors and habits.

So it  won't be wrong to say that 

There is nothing so constant as  change itself 

Letting go...

In our lifetime we meet many people, who play their part in forming us, making us. Sometimes the experience is good but at times we may not be that lucky. Whatever the case may be, we never forget the experience. It remains etched in our minds for a long, long time. If the experience is bad i.e. they have harmed us mentally or physically, it remains with us lifelong. We are bruised for life. Sometimes the wounds cut so deep that it takes forever to heal. No matter how much the time passes the memory of that horrible incident fills our hearts with the same amount of bitterness. We are filled with the same hurt and grief.

At such moments we are asked to 'let go'. Sometimes we do that without actually knowing the meaning of 'letting it go'.  It seems that we have let the pain and the hurt go but most of the times it is not so. It remains with us whole time. The hurt and the agony it has caused never ceases.  It remains there and never goes away. We bleed every time when we remember that particular person or incident. Every time we suffer the same sadness. It is just like as if someone has hit us with a stone and we are bleeding. He goes away after  striking us one time. And what we do? Instead of healing and tending to the wound we pick the same stone and keep on hitting on the same spot. Which is why the soreness never goes. It is actually us that causes more suffering.

What actually happens is that we never let it go. We are still holding to it. We are still holding the hurt tightly. So what really letting something go means? It is accepting the fact that someone has hurt us bad in the past. And saying that yes he has hurt me, but that was in the past. Why am i carrying the burden of something which was told to me some time back? We just need to tend to it and put that away. Flush it away. We simply need to do that. Believe me, the pain will cease. 

This is a process which we must learn to keep peace with ourselves. This is letting go. We will not feel the hurt and even forget it at some point of time. That person or that incident become non existent to you. No more tears well up in your eyes . No more rushes of anger . It can be difficult in the beginning but once you build a habit it becomes easy. It will become an essential part of your life. 

This does not mean that people will stop hurting us. No, certainly not. We will be hurt and tortured. But we will be at peace as everytime someone is mean to us we will keep on letting it go. In this way every time the pain will go in no time. You will free yourself from the burden of something that was said or done to you in the past. The memory of that horrible incident will not bring tears in your eyes anymore. When that happens... be sure that you have let it go. 

Just like that...

Happiness lies in 'letting it go'

It is bliss

It is mental peace

Sheer calmness....

Rise and shine each time

When you are down and under the best thing you can do is to get up and rise again. As that is the lowest point that you can reach . From there you can't get lower than that. So only one option remains i.e. to go up. That is the point where you need to strive to go higher. Collect all the energy that is left and start afresh. 

It is difficult but ofcourse. You can't remain in the same spot and decay. And we also believe that everything comes with price. Nothing is free. And to gain something you have to work harder. So we should never be afraid of downfalls. Always be prepared to give one more push and that too harder than earlier. Yes, it will be not a smooth ride, but it will not be the goal that is not attainable.  To try so etching new might be difficult but not impossible. 

Plus, how can we be certain of our failure without even trying it? Believe in your own self. Have faith in what you are doing. Falling is not failing. Failing is when you stop trying to be able to succeed again. If you don't do...that would be failure. And that would be the worst thing you can do to yourself. Failing is getting defeated and never getting up. Life is like a wheel. What goes up comes down and what comes down is bound to go up one day. So why not give it a shove and set the wheel of our fortune in our way.

The problem actually lies in the effort and intention. Many times deep down we don't want to get up. We may have self pity which leads to feeling of remaining down under.  That's when we are defeated because we cease to fight , we simply give up.

Real courage lies in rising every time you fall. Every time. We can find such people around us who simply refuse to get defeated by circumstances. Each time life throws them harshly , they come out stronger and wiser. It is not easy for them to forget the blows and losses of past but they refuse to remain down under. They gather courage and start their life once again.  Now that is success for them. 

Given any situation , there is no escape from struggle. For some it can be easy going whereas for others it can be an uphill task. There you can not compare your struggle with anybody else's. As you don't know how far he has walked barefoot. You don't know what that person has undergone. It might have been easy or might have been difficult.  But one thing is for sure that success comes to those who work hard, persevere and refuse to go down under. 

We meet so many people in our lives who have faced and braved through the storms of their lives.  Every one has their own way to tackle. Some bow down whereas there are others who face such adverse situations head-on . Getting jolted is alright but  not holding to grounds is not allowed. 

Rise and shine as it is only way of life. 

A Day Without Television.

                                                            Now-a-days television has become an integral part of our lives. It has been there since our childhood. I remember how we used to schedule our studies according to telecast of our favorite programs. It was difficult for our mothers  to take us away from the TV when our weekly cartoon show was being aired. And during the rest of the days, all the other programs even krishi darshan were among the most viewed ones. It was not important for us to understand the content. simply viewing mattered.

                                                         

Weekly chitrahaar and other things like  movies made our day. I remember how my mother used to finish her household work so that she can watch the movie uninterrupted. Also a whole lot of neighbors too used to join us on the weekends as ours house was the only one with the TV. The movie "Pakeezah" had a houseful audience in our drawing room. Doordarshan provided us with all the entertainment of the time.

As of now, there are hundreds of channels airing endless shows on endless topics for endless hours. All of us have become addicted to the idiot box. All of us have our favorite programs on our favorite channels. If we are lucky enough we may have our own TV set in our rooms too. There can be a struggle to own the remote so that one particular program can be viewed. There is tussle among the kids and even elders about which channel is to be preferred. Younger generation prefers music channels, whereas men folk will go for sports  or news or at the most discovery channels. For women mainly channels airing serials are of utmost preference. Every time there is a race for the remote. And the winner gets his prize, i.e. he gets to choose which channel is to be viewed. 

All this commotion in our house came to a standstill when there was some disturbance in the telecast and there was no transmission at all for the whole day. All my family members got annoyed at the service provider. My mom in law went to bed early. As she shares bedroom with my daughter, so she too went to bed early. Instead of sleeping the duo talked till late. They did so since my daughter was young. Both of them hugged each other and slept. My mom in law shared stories of her childhood and youth, my daughter was surprised to know about so many things. It was a good bonding between the two. 

 My son brought out the game of scrabble. We used to play when he was young. I had long forgotten about that game. As a boy he was always beaten by me but yesterday my son defeated me in three straight games. He was so happy as if he had won the world cup. There was joy in his eyes and had a mysterious smile on his face. That glow in his eyes told very untold story. He was overjoyed with the feeling of winning over his mom. 

After dinner my husband suggested that we go out for an ice cream. We were all startled as he never asks for the same. We all readily agreed to it. We sang all along the way. Had ice cream at a dhaba on the outskirts of the city. On our way back my mind wandered over the happenings of the day.  I thanked the cable wala guy for giving us the family time which was most needed.

Actually I am thinking that I should ask the cable wala to shut down the transmission at least once a month so that my family can spend few hours together and be in the company of each other.

It is always good to around family and friends. And Diwali is the best time to be with them. It's just like getting your batteries charged. Whole year around we all are busy with our lives, our daily routines. But let Diwali come.. all get busy to set their schedules to make a visit to their homes back at the native places. 

All the trains and buses seems to be bursting with people , carrying lots of luggage, in which they carry gifts for their loved ones. This time of the year the shopkeepers too make their earnings to the fullest. All the fashion comes alive at different levels. Kids want to their  dresses to be perfect, younger generation has their own notions about looking good and what to talk about women .. they are all pepper up for shopping during this period. 

I have seen that the salesmen at saree shops don't hesitate to tuck in sarees for their women customers. All the want is show them how prertp they will look in those five yard cloth. The designs are inspired from the television dramas. Many a times women too want to buy a saree which was worn by a particular character in some TV serial. 

It may sound ridiculous to some but it is true. 

The thing which I dislike most about Diwali festival is the nuisance of crackers. Already we are dealing with all sorts of pollution. And Diwali adds more to it. The worst thing is people who complain the most about bad quality of air it is them who are bursting crackers in the dead of night. 

Also I would like to say that the animals too suffer alot from the noise pollution caused by the crackers. They can't express their feelings but their fear can be seen. There is lot of people who deliberately terrify these mute animals especially dogs with the loud crackers. Please don't do that.. they don't talk which doesn't mean that they don't suffer. 

Let us make this festival only about happiness and sharing our love and laughter only. 

सपनो में ना आया करो,

यूं ही न तड़पाया करो,

 तुम ही तो हो मेरी ज़िन्दगी,

मेरे दिल पे तुम्हारा साया करो।

हम जो ना हों कभी तेरी महफ़िल में,

रूखे रोशन से पर्दा ना हटाया करो।

सब से मिलो, राब्ता रखो सबसे,

हम जो आए तो पास हमारे अा जाया करो।

कुछ तो कहो युं ना खामोश रहो,

हमारी सुनो तो कुछ अपनी भी सुनाया करो।

सामने बैठी रहो यूं, बुत ना बनी रहो,

चिराग़ उम्मीदों के भी यहां जलाया करो।

फुरकत में तेरी जल रहे हम कब से,

ज़ुल्फो से तेरी दिल पे हमारे साया करो।

हम तो अा जाते तेरे कूचे में सुबह शाम,

तुम भी कभी हमारी जानिब अा जाया करो।

Angel you are..

Angel you are,

And answer to my prayers too.

The Lord has sent my way.

You are a hope to my desperate thoughts

Sometimes you are my pillow

Who can soak all my tears. 

And yet at times you turn into a punching bag

Which bears all my frustrations.

I still remember the day when I 

Held you the first time

You were pink, harmless, cute bundle of joy.

You looked at me as if you knew me 

You brought joy to my life

Became my smile, 

Centre of my world.

Keeping an eye on me even when 

Playing with friends.

Still look at me for that final nod.

Now you have outgrown my lap

And now ready to fly away.

But still you remain my little baby.

God bless you sweetheart and fill 

Your life with all the goodness

Sleepless Nights

Not being able to sleep at night without any medication is termed as sleeplessness. it is an ailment. but most of us including me refuse to accept this . As a result... no sleep... whole night. Despite every effort I make , it remains elusive for the better part of the night. The more I go after it, the more it runs away from me. It has become my "ruthi hui premika" whom I am desperate to win back.

I have tried all the tricks to woo her but all in vain. I have gone from domestic formulas but no use. Counted infinite sheep, drank warm milk, even tried doing sheersh aasana in the dead of night. But all proved useless. I have laid many traps but.... the culprit named sleep is yet to be caught. I think it is cleverer than me as it surpasses me every time. It always mocks me from a distance.

Many times I read books too especially those ones which are otherwise boring ones (as I take chances by adopting different methods every time). At many occasions I watch religious sermons to lure my darling sleep. Needless to say here that even then it always evades me. So many therapies have gone down the drain in their vain effort to win over sleep.

Sometimes I envy those who fall asleep just when they lie down. My husband is one such person who can fall asleep anywhere and at any time he wants. He would just lie down and close his eyes. And lo! You can hear his soft snore. He loves sleeping while travelling. It is his way to enjoy the journey. He sleeps the whole time. And me.... all awake...looking at people and hearing all sorts of snoring in the train coach.

All being said, but one thing is for sure. I do like my sleepless nights as there is no one to disturb me when I am reading. I write at night. Even this blog is being written while everyone else in the house is fast asleep. I need not worry about their lunches or dinners or teas or snacks. It is me and my creativity. It is quite peaceful during night as there is no one to disturb you and bother you. Basically despite having puffy eyes in the morning, after a sleepless night, I have no regrets about it.

Keeping in Pace

We are always worried about keeping in pace with others.   There is a receipt going on …. A rat race…where every one wants to win. Nobody wants to come second. Every where it is the same story. Winning has become all important. It has been there since ages but not as cut throat as it is now. The race begins at very age when parents want their kids to be ahead in every field. Even small kids are thrown in the arena to perform better than others.

Performing not only better but best has gained highest place. I our times bolt participation had significance. But now along with participation, coming first is necessary. All sort of pressure is there to excel. There is parents pressure … then peer pressure… or even self pressure where it becomes compulsory for our own self to excel. I hurts our ego.

Seldom it is realised that while going for the top we have lost a lot. We lost our peace of mind.. that is why many a times we are not happy at the top. We may not be delighted to win. This is because we might have lost so many precious things such as relationships, friends on our way up the ladder of success.

As far as kids are concerned they suffer the most. In order to look good every time their childhood gets lost somewhere in the middle. They have to behave like grown ups. Many a times  parents push their children hard to excel. These days we see many such children in the field of television. Here young kids are put in the harsh conditions of shooting for most part of the week. Their study is ignored . Their childhood gets lost in between the scenes. But parents are happy as their kids become famous and also their bank balances soar.

 A few days back, I was watching a TV show in which a competition of 5 year olds was being held. Parents were pushing their kids hard to do well. And those who got selected for next round were showered with praises and those who lost were scolded badly  as they didn’t do what they were taught.. Little did they realised that they were only 5 years old kids. We need is to chill a little and think... Where are we going? Aren't we getting our selves lost in this rat race of defeating others? Should we always beat others? Is it really necessary? We need to ask these questions to our own self and get honest answers.

Yes .. it feels good to be at the top. The feeling of leading the pack is uncompared. But we need to remember that we cannot win every time. We should learn tell ourselves that sometimes it okay not to win. There is always a next time. It is seen that pressure to perform well can  affect us physically and well as mentally.
Keeping ahead is good but not being in the lead sometimes is also not bad. Think twice… ponder over …..

Accept your self as you are...

                               To accept yourself as you actually are can be one of the most difficult things to do. It is so because all of us have a general tendency to see ourselves through other's eyes. We start comparing with others. And we are stuck with the million dollar question-- Main aisa kyun hoon? Ironically the answer to this question lies in the next line of this famous song-- Jaisa hoon , main waisa hi hoon.. 

                               

 We are as we are, so we need to accept that. The conflict is there because we don't accept the reality. We are always trying to fill the gaps, covering the flaws, we create mess of us, for us. We have many a times seen that cinema stars adopt all sorts of measures to look more beautiful and stay young forever. They go for all types of body enhancing surgeries and many other such treatments. Some one will go after a nose job or a lip job or will do a face lift or so. Such experiments are not always successful. We have seen that sometimes they look ugly. Many people like me wonder why do they need such operations? The reason is that they are not happy with their own looks which others may die for. 

                         

 God has made everyone a distinct creature. Everyone has their own physical traits. He has not made any two humans alike. So how can we compare one with the other. All these are actually products of our thoughts. Dark skinned people want lighter tone of their skins . On the other hand white people go after tanning their skins, they love to have dark color on them. So what color is better white or black or brown. Micheal Jackson, who was one of the most successful singers of the world, was unhappy with his skin color. He went under so many treatments which in turn took his life.

                         

  This happens when we do no accept what we are, how we look. We look at ourselves form others point of view. And we think that our present version is not good enough. Hence all these forced changes happen. Many a times these changes too cant bring satisfaction. So when we accept ourselves as we are that brings mental peace and the sense of satisfaction prevails. We stop being loggerheads with ourselves. There many things in our lives which we have to fight for and if we are fighting with our own self too, that makes our lives more miserable. 

 

Thus just be happy with yourself as you are......

Relationship goals

                                                                         When Aristotle said "man is a social animal" he meant that we humans can survive only when we are surrounded by people who help us, support us. In other words it can be said that we need a support system to grow and to survive. We cannot live on our own. Our total existence right from the birth to death we need people for support. A lone fish has no life  at all.

                                                                       We depend on others socially, financially, economically and above all emotionally. For that purpose we need to maintain our relation with our family and friends and relatives and colleagues  and neighbor and all the other people who we come across during our lifetime. Each relation can have a different set off emotions attached to it . 

                                                                        

So it can be said that each relation demands a separate set of rules, a separate kind of treatment. This is because each one of our relation has a distinct personality and its own demands from time to time. Such need are to be catered timely and without fail.any delay may cost a  good relation. Relations are like plants which need care and love from time to time. Just as a plant would die without sufficient water, oxygen and sunlight, relations would also die if we don't care about them or pay attention to them or love them. 

                                                                         

  One more thing... giving space in any relationship is all the more necessary for the survival of any relationship. It is one of the key ingredients of any fast relationship. Be it husband wife relation or  friends or parents or siblings..any relation.. they need some space to breathe and grow. Every relation must have freedom. Our relations should not be burdened by our love and care and over protection.

                                                                      

 Every thing in our lives need to be prioritize accordingly . We can nurture them or end them if we do not  compartmentalize them as per their needs. So if we want those relations to stay in our lives then we need to work on them and give more attention to them and divide our time accordingly. And if we don't want certain people to be their we just need to ignore them and they will be out in no time. 

                                                                 

   All the more important thing in any relationship is that it works both ways. Single side can never be held responsible for its success. One sided efforts can not keep it alive. Both sides are equally responsible for it. One way traffic of bonding cannot keep it together. 

                                                                

  So ... healthy relationship needs a right attitude, right effort, and that too with right person or persons. This should be our relationship goal..................