Forgive yourself.....

In life, you carry a lot of burden in your heads and hearts. You keep on piling on all sorts of hurts and pains in them. These could have been caused by others or could be self-inflicted. You keep on getting hurt time and again. Actually you don’t know what letting go is. What acceptance is? You simply are nailed into all these agonies. You are actually then hanging to the past. In a way you never know how to live in present.

What happens is, when someone hurts you, you keep on ruminating the incident again and again. Then you either blame others or you keep on blaming yourself for all the miseries. You keep on replaying them in your minds and thinking about all the answers you might have given. The things you might have done to stop them from hurting you. Even blame yourself for not leaving them. There are so many questions that remain unanswered and that’s what causes discomfort.

What you forget is that you cannot reverse the happening. You cannot go back into the past and change what had happened. So need to accept what has happened and realize the fact that what has happened has happened. No amount of lamenting and self-cursing can change it. So make peace with it. Let’s accept the fact.

Next step is to forgive yourself. Unless and until you make peace with your past you become miserable in the present. Make peace with your own self. And move forward in life. It will lead to the beautiful road to a beautiful life.  `

Choose to be happy...

You may or may not agree with me that there are certain days in our life when nothing goes right. Whatever you do goes wrong in one way or the other. All our efforts to mend go astray. Nothing seems to work right for you. And you are engulfed with stress, anxiety, and depression. As a result, being sad and gloomy becomes your routine. It lingers on and on and on…

For some days you won’t be able to figure out what is happening. By the time you realise that this was depression and sadness, you are addicted to it. Confidence is replaced by self pity. Remaining low becomes a habit. You won’t get out because somewhere inside you, you start enjoying such mental status.  You may feel like crying sometimes. And on some days you may cry your heart and lungs out. Even then you my not feel relieved or relaxed. 
Then the situation worsens. You start avoiding people. Shut yourself from the world. You don’t make eye contact anymore. You finish your work and rush back to your hideout. You start sitting alone for hours together and still have no thoughts. You stare into oblivion.

Believe me that’s when you need to take a U turn. Start making conscious efforts to be happy. Even if you don’t want to. Smile forcibly. Laugh out loud. Listen to music. Watch comedy… some stand ups may be… It is the only way out of the deep well of sadness. It is not something that you read in a book or see in a movie… it is real, so very real… being sad or happy is in our hands. It is our own choice.

Make the right choice. Bring happiness back in your life. As down the years you will laugh at your silliness about being lamenting over petty and unimportant things.

Of all the other things, you are who matters the most. So make yourself choose happiness over sadness…

What will the people say?

 This is the phrase which we have said or heard most of our lives. Our lives are governed by these five words ' what will the people say'. Actually who are these people who influence our lives so much. These are the one who live in and around our homes, offices, schools, colleges… or even passer byes. They may be or not may be related to us. In many cases they may not even know us properly. But it is their sole right to criticise all without knowing the exact situation. They simply pass the judgements. That’s all. And we take them seriously.
Most of the times we see that these judgements adversely affect us. We may want to do something or we can say anything… first thing that would come to our minds what will others say to this. How will the people react, do or say to this. Before our own approval we need others' nod. Well it is not so that we should not think about others . We should . But not at the cost of our mental peace. We should consider others opinions. When it concerns them, not when we are talking about our own individual choices.
What happens is that in giving importance to others we forget the most important person about whom all the thing is about. Most of the times it is about us own self. In keeping others happy and satisfied we keep on hurting ourselves . In pleasing others we neglect our own feelings, our own likes or dislikes. This actually harms our minds and thoughts. Only one life is given to us and that too we spend in pleasing others. When will we live for our own selves.
Keep in mind we are our own worlds. We may keep in view our loved ones or family or in that matter our friends but that too not at the cost of our own happiness. Because if we are happy and satisfied souls we will be able to make others also happy. Make this world a better place by being happy without caring about what the people will say….

life is beautiful

Life is beautiful as long as we are living. It is alive even with our struggles and all the problems that we face in our lives. All the happiness and good things are of use when we are alive. These exist when we exist. all the success , all the failures are fruitful when we live. All of us have been living lives that are full of all sorts of events.. good, bad, hurtful, joyous.. all sorts. We may experience fullness of life and sometimes it may seem all empty, useless. What to do? What can be done? 

When things don't go our way it does not look beautiful at all. At least for that moment. So how and why do we say 'life is beautiful'. Well at least we are alive.. Isn't that a thing to be happy about? We can always take a u-turn even if nothing is working right. As long as we are breathing there is always a hope to do better. We need to look for the options to make the change. We have to steer our lives out of the storm, always. Mind it, all of us are capable of doing so. The matter of concern is that we never try. 

Look for the ways you can redirect your life. Put back you life on rails. Surely it is not easy but why not give it a shot. Trying is always better than doing nothing at all. It is possible that there might not be many choices to make, but take whatever it is. Make it happen. What is the worst case scenario? You may not succeed at the beginning. Keep on working on the failures. Aim towards achieving the success. With determination and hard work things are going to turn your way. 

Never forget what you already have. Look for the positive side of every incident. Keep in mind that there is always a silver lining to the dark clouds. Things never remain the same. Change is bound to happen. If good days are no more there, the dark phase is also going to be over sooner or later. Count your blessings. Be thankful that its not over yet. Always remember that if it is not a happy ending it is not an end.. Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost...

To begin with, start with yourself. Appreciate your own efforts. Be in peace with yourself. If there are changes to be brought, change your attitude first. Cultivate positive thoughts. Rediscover yourself. Pursue a hobby, preferably art or singing or playing an instrument. You are never too old for these things. There is always a new beginning. Never hesitate to start afresh.

So get up. Shake it off. Shun all the negative thoughts. Generate new ideas.

And never forget.....

 LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL

Make Choices

Many a times it happens in our lives that we get stuck with a person or experience which happened sometime back. They have a long term impact on our lives. Our present gets influenced by decisions taken in the past. We learn lessons and change our behaviour accordingly. Sometimes this strategy proves to be good. Problem arises when we drag our past into our future. It is good to remain cautious but it may prevent us from taking a leap of faith.

Any disappointment of past must not find its way into the future. Instead of being afraid and be negatively influenced by bad experiences, we should learn to remove the pot holes. We should be able to see clearly after the storm is over and build new and stronger shelters. So, instead of being afraid to go out in a thunder storm we should be able to face them with courage and brevity.

After the disaster in past we must plan well and work harder. Then there would be no chance of failure. Our failures should be stepping stones and not the hindrances towards success. The bad experiences don’t matter. What actually matters is how long we stick to them, how long we rely on them in order to take decisions. Our excessive cautiousness will have an impact on every move which is not good for our decision making power. We should have a constructive attitude towards life and everything related with it. We can make a choice about what we want to become and what to do next. They say ' what we think, we become'. 

We have no control on the circumstances whatsoever. But what is in hands is our response to such situations, whether we panic or think of a way out of problem. It is our choice. For this we need to listen to our instinct and trust it too. It may seem absurd at times but we need to trust. 

So let’s leave our fears and apprehensions behind and move ahead.