Love Thyself

                                We are big hearted people as we love everyone- our family, our friends, our pets, our neighbors, our colleagues, our jobs , our homes..... list is never ending. But when it comes to loving our own selves, we become skeptical, we become our own biggest critics. There can be so many things which we may not like about ourselves. Some of us don't like their names, some have problem with their looks.

                                 The most important thing which should matter most to us is totally ignored i.e. our own self. It is ignored on both levels- physical as well as emotional. In every matter we put our self on the back seat. We not only overlook it but also lambast it with all sorts of harsh things that we can think of. We bruise our souls by self criticizing.

As a result we have inferiority complex. In the process we also allow others, knowingly or unknowingly, to run over us and never care for our feelings. We allow them as we do that to ourselves.

                                   What should actually the situation be? We should love our own selves. We are unique in every manner. one of a kind. So why hate the single most thing that ventures on this very earth? Instead we should be proud of our self. Nobody else in the world is like me. Mere jaisa koi nahi hai. When this is the situation then why worry?... Only love should be there for your own. Focus on all the good things that ....I am one of a kind and nobody else in this whole world is like me... 

                           Stop lamenting about what you don't have. Emphasize on your assets. cherish your merits. Fall in love with you. Love thyself

 

The Grey Shade

                                               

                                        You know what, it is quite interesting that we look for either an all good person or an all bad person. In their point of view people have either good qualities or bad qualities. There is nothing in between these two extremes. But actually, people do not come in black or white nature... they come in GREY.....

                                           No one is 100% good or 100% bad.  Everyone has his own share of flaws and strengths. We do not say that a person whom we label as 'good' will not have a single imperfection, and the person whom we call a 'bad' one, does not guarantee that he has only faults and not a single positive character.

                                          In fact, the thing is that no one can be completely good or completely bad. People come as a combination of both - good as well as bad. The ratio of these traits can differ from person to person. Good qualities are always accompanied by the bad ones. So we cannot say that a particular person is good or bad as we may be seeing one side of the coin, we may be seeing one trait of his personality. We see in them what we want to see, and what they really are. We perceive others from our point of view.

                                      Everyone comes with all the shades of black and white. All of us have grey personalities. We will see good or bad in them as we want to see. So when we hear someone saying that they seldom meet good persons these days it means they are looking at only one side of that person and they are totally ignoring his other aspects. They may be overlooking their positive features. So when we say that people come as a whole package, we need to look at their other side as well. We need to stop seeing people from our own pointers. As they can be good or bad according to the framework of our thoughts. We don't judge people as what they actually are. As a matter of fact we look at them from our angles. 

                                       We must agree that no one comes with a single set of attributes, rather, he is gifted with all sorts of qualities and deformities. People have all shades of grey in their personalities. As Lisa Ling says "There is so much grey to every story- nothing is so black and white."

To Forgive or Not To Forgive

                                                It is human nature to look into everything from our own point of view. Most of the times we refuse to accept what others are trying to say. We add our own meanings and perceptions to it. That makes the matter worse. Somethings are said to us and most other things we presume that they meant to say. It happens that many a times people may say good things to us, about us, but it may not be the same each time. On many occasions we have to face criticism too.

                                             We accept  appreciation and good comments readily and wholeheartedly. But the brickbats are highly unacceptable. We feel elated when somebody shower praise  and admire us. On the other hand our soul is shattered by the shards of harsh words and blunt criticism. And when that happens, we carry that insult for years and years to come. As a result, we are never at peace with that erring person and our own selves too. Actually, when we recall that insult or talk to someone about it, each time we go through the same amount of grief and agony that we went through for the very first time.This is the main cause of pain as it goes on multiplying every time we are reminded of it.

                                           In order to save our selves from the hurt we need to forgive the wrong doer and relieve our souls from the never ending misery. It does not mean that we want to reconcile with them, rather it means we want to heal our sore soul and be in peace with it. To forgive we need to understand their situation and behavior. Once we do that and agree to that we are ready to forgive the blameworthy and forget the hurt caused by them. 

                                           And believe me, forgiving someone is not an easy task at all. You need a whole lot of courage to do that. It is quite difficult to say that you forgive someone who has caused so mush pain in your life because it is not easy to forget all the trouble and discomfort it resulted in. But life is like that. It is full of challenges. And to forgive is one of its challenges which we face and win over. 

                                           We need to remember here that we don't forgive for their sake but we do it for our own-selves. It is another dilemma that we seldom do anything for our own sake. our whole lives are spent on pleasing others, doing things for others. What about our own self? This is the best thing that we can do to heal our souls from wearing out and save ourselves from lot of trouble. So forgiveness is one of the greatest gift that we can give to ourselves. Keep forgiving and enjoy the life that has been granted to you.......

An ode to my mom

Dear Mom,

I don' t remember your first touch,

I don't remember your first kiss, 

I don't even remember you calling 

My name for the first time.

I don't remember you feeding me, 

I don't remember you changing my nappies

I don't remember you doing so many things...

But I know this for sure...

 That I fell in love with you

The moment I saw you.

I know how much you love me, 

No matter how much I irritated you,

No matter how much you had to sacrifice for me..

 No matter how much pain I caused you..

You have always loved me.

Always given me the best..

Never letting me know your hardships

I loved you on conditions

 I hugged you when you fulfilled some wish of mine.

Even hated you many times.. 

But you always loved me. 

You always reciprocated to,

 Whatever my feelings were,

With your endless love only...

Now that I have become a mother,

Now I realize 

How much you did for me...your child.

I know Thanks is a little word

 for what you did for me always....

 But still I want you thank you 

For the person you have made me.

 I feel proud when i am called your copy

I love you as I have always done since I was born

It is Never Too Late to Change

It may be late but never too late to bring changes in our lives. Change is the spice of life and we don't like bland things. There is need to change something or anything to pep up our daily life. We should be open to do or learn something new. Change does not always mean expenditure. Even our daily chores can be included change the way we dress-up. Learn a new recipe. Get a new hairstyle.Change the furniture arrangement of your room. If you can't do that, join some yoga club or go for a morning walk. Bring any change --major or minor and see the difference that it makes. Our otherwise dull daily routine will brighten up.

 But the thing is that we are afraid of making changes. There is always a fear of non acceptance hovering in our mind. Keep this thing in view that the change is not for anybody else, it is for our own self. To get out of monotonous life, we need to have some alterations. Following same dull routine may take away the liveliness from our lives. We forget that we are alive. And that being alive matters.

Take baby steps towards change if you are not ready for a huge swap in your life. First of all be mentally prepared for the change. Then think of the changes that you want to bring in and about your life. Also talk to your family members or friends and make a support group that can help you in making decisions and later facing the results.

These days an advertisement is running on all the TV channels. It is about a jewellery brand. I liked the concept of change after you turn 40. How beautiful that ad is. Most of us think that after a certain age, nothing remains in life. But I feel that we actually start living for ourselves after that age. So most of the changes can happen then. Who knows.....

Actually change is inevitable part of our lives. We cannot do without it. Whether we like it or not people, things, circumstances, situations... change. So it is always better that we accept it wholeheartedly and happily. So much so that we may never say that now it is too late. Remember it is never too late for change...

Staying Positive

Staying Positive

Everyone of us.... every day deal with one or the other kind of stress. now-a-days it is not  only grown ups have stress, but  kids too have to face it. There are a lot of pressures that each one of us to face each day.  It can be at workplace, school, college or even at home. There can be parents' pressure, boss's pressure, peer pressure, sibling's pressure. Be it anyone or anywhere... you name it... we all have to deal with it.

The pressure is always on. most of us on the burner most of the time. The root cause of this leads to the fact that everyone wants to do better than their colleagues, friends, batch-mates, teachers, co-workers, partners, sisters , brothers, even neighbors or friend's son or daughter. You name it, it will be there. Everyone in unhappy with whatever is going around.. some may have a  bad day at office, some have problem with their bosses, other are not in good terms with their sub-ordinates.

 It is not necessary that  only work places are overflowing with stressful things. Our own so called 'happy abodes' can be full of pressures. An absent maid is enough to give the lady of the house a heart attack if she is a working woman. everyone in the house is in a hurry to reach somewhere... office, school, college, or even market. To do chores in time, keeps everyone on tenterhooks. A husband can be at war with his wife for n number of reasons. Same can be said about the wife too. Kids too have to balance their lives at school, college, home and even at play grounds. Be it elders or kids, young or old, rich or poor, employer or the employee..all of us fighting and facing challenges of life.

In the long run, this stress can prove to be the biggest villain of our lives. It can lead to many kinds of physical as well as mental illnesses. It becomes a vicious circle as stress lead to illness and in turn illness cause more stress. It keeps on going. 

Most of want to change present situations but don't know the way out. We all prove to the Abhimanyus, who enter the vicious circle but cannot find their way out first step towards. One thing is for sure that if we want to bring changes in present situations, then we will have to bring the change in the situation. It is because if we are happy with the present situation, we don't want to change it. We want some alteration only when we are choked with whatever is going in and around us. For that we need to identify the cause of pain. Some times it is seen that the actual situation is not that bad, as we project to others or even to ourselves. So we need to come out of the closets, set of minds free from all the previous notions that we have in our minds. Free our minds from all the fears that we may face actually in our lives. Mostly our fears never get materialize,  but we live our whole lives under their shadow. As most of times nothing of the sort happens. our lives become what we wish for. If we wish misery in our lives, we will surely make it miserable, and on the other hand we can lookout for small details which can illuminate our lives. 
So it is in our hands what type of life we lead. We can always choose to be happy or to be sad. But on the other note, life does not, I repeat, does not always give us choices. We have to take what is being offered to us. In that case we have to make lemonade out of the lemons that life have given us. Go ahead in life with all the positivity that you can generate within yourself. It is not something which cannot be done by all. We all are capable of doing so. The only problem is we never try. So, now lets give our lives second shot and begin to weave the life with new zeal and enthusiasm, with full throttle on positive thoughts and deeds.