Let's be in present

                                                              We see that these days everyone preaches to live in the present. What is this? What do you actually mean by living in the present? Aren't we living in the present? How can we know if we are living in the present or not? Actually, living in the present means that we think and plan about our present only. See, what happens is, that most of us are lost in our past thoughts past happenings or are busy making plans for the future. When we are thinking about things happened to us in the past we linger around those happenings for longer periods. As a result, there is an impact on our thoughts and actions. In such a situation, during conversing with others, we talk about our past lives, past friendships, past successes, or even failures. We forget to acknowledge the significance of the present moment which is today.

                                                    Take for example, if our meeting didn't go well and we spend most of our night tossing and turning in planning how corrections can be made in the next meeting or so. Well, in a way, it is good for our future projects but in the process, our mind is jumping from past to future and completely forgetting about the present when we lose our peace of mind. These stressful moments will hijack our efforts to get rested. Such lingering harms our performances and sometimes our relationships too. 

                                             In reality, we all do it. All of us think about our gone days and plan about upcoming times and in the meantime, feel free to be in the present, breathe, and have some peace. It is natural for us to stay in the past reminiscing over the previous events for long long period and also getting worried about the things to come. IT SHOULD BE A VISIT AND NOT A LONG STAY.  And more so, staying in the present doesn't at all mean doing your work and getting through the day. It means you and your mind are focused on what is happening now. It is noteworthy to anchor your thoughts and actions on what matters now. This will energize you, and motivate you to achieve your goals.

                                          By not emphasising on the present can result in distraction from what is important. This can lead to mental tension and take a toll on personal as well as professional lives.  To avoid such occurrences we must learn to lay stress on existing situations and not get stuck in what happened in the past and over-prioritise future events. Living in the present can reduce stress and help us learn from our past mistakes and build a bright future. When you are in the present you are not concerned about the failures of the past nor you are afraid of the future anymore. 

                                             The main reason behind our trips to the past and future is that we have so many questions to which we are searching for answers. In such a case, we will have to make peace with the thought that not every question has an answer, and not every lock has a key. Furthermore, in life, many things are out of our control.   So, it is useless to blame yourself on such matters. this will lead to fewer regrets and more memories to cherish. 

                                                       Stay in the present. Enjoy what is happening now. Love what is there today. Take each moment as it comes. and see how this changes your life forever.                                          

                                            

healing is a process..

 It is said that time is the best healer. It is not such that things turn good and the wounds on our souls are healed. Actually, as time passes we tend to forget the actual pain and hurt caused by some person or some unpleasant incident or some personal loss; in the process, the feeling of distress gets reduced. As a result, we have a feeling that the sting of the wound has healed. In case we keep the wound and the pain very much by reliving the painful moments again and again, the uneasiness and the sorrow always remain there. this anguish can be with us even if many years pass. We can still be mortified as our wounds may bleed time and again and cause as much pain as they did the very first time.

what we observe from this is that the healing process of hurts is a mental process and not physical. Just as in our childhood, our boo-boos were cured by our mother's gentle touch and kiss. She used to make us feel better sometimes just by picking us up, wiping our tears, and listening to our endless rants. Her touch would heal our cuts and gashes and fights, healed our pains, and eased our suffering. Do our mothers have magical powers? No doubt, magic was there. but in our minds. We have an unshakable faith and trust in our mothers. In our minds, we consider them our safest haven. Our brain used to tell us that everything is going to be alright which in turn eased our discomfort.

But when we grow up we forget the power of healing. We need to remind ourselves to patch our trauma. start learning to get well and making ourselves better on our own. To begin with, we ought to learn to forget the pain, as we keep on clinging to the saddening feeling it will no longer serve us better. It will make the matter worse. The longer we keep our attention on the pain the stronger the impact, and the pain becomes worse and worse. As we keep on reminiscing, the same amount of pain and unhappiness will be experienced every time. so dear ones, it's time to move on. Yesssss. Move on. and let's just stop scratching the old wounds and begin with the healing.  

Why be Happy

                                                            A few days ago, I read a story about a childhood story of John Lennon. In his school, his class teacher asked all the kids what they wanted to be when they grew up. Someone said he wanted to become a doctor, some wanted to become an engineer, a few wanted to fly a plane, and even one wanted to be an astronaut. Little John, who was sitting at the back of the class and was listening to what his mates were saying. When the teacher asked him the same question, he replied that he wanted to be HAPPY when he grows up. Everyone started laughing at him. But the teacher called him.  Her eyes teared up because she understood the gravity of the little one's answer.

                                                            Actually, only this is what all matters ... HAPPINESS. It is the only thing that we strive for our whole lives. We struggle to achieve our goals, whatever it may be. Do all sorts of things to be happy. buy new clothes. Travel. Eat. Sleep. Work. Earn money and many other things. All this is done to be happy. So now, the question arises why we want to be happy. The reason is that being happy generates a feeling of fulfillment. It makes us feel good. It makes us satiated. 

All of us want to have a healthy and excellent relationship with our life partners, kids, friends, colleagues, subordinates, business partners, and whatnot. when we have a lovely alliance with people associated with us it gives satisfaction which in turn makes us happy. this satisfaction leads to the conclusion that whatever efforts were put into the smooth going of the purpose, it has achieved its goal. the efforts were worthy. this belief keeps us going ahead in life.

It is basic nature that we want good results in whatever we do. All the hard work would be put in to obtain the desired results.  No one wants to do a fruitless job. Remuneration in any term will always be welcome. That would bring happiness. sometimes hefty payments also lead to stress and depression because the satisfaction and the outcome do not feel upright. the positive results are always easy to deal with as compared to the negative ones. positive results keep us going ahead whereas the opposite ones force us to get stalled and work better on the same all over again.

There are so many situations that we face in our lives. Some are  easy to tackle as others make us sweat a lot. but what matters, in the end, is a decent outcome. That will make all the trials worthwhile. and make us a happy souls. 

and again get ready for the next battle of life.

Stay happy and go ahead in life.

You Are Enough

 Most of us, nowadays, have started viewing ourselves from others'  perspectives. and as a result, a thought creeps into our minds that We Are Not Enough. This feeling creates a labyrinth, a non-ending spiral of presumptions that somewhere we are falling short of our own aims and goals. This leads to dissatisfaction. Always thinking that somewhere something is lagging behind. Whatever we do, whatever we achieve doesn't give us happiness. There is always a gap to be filled. Well, to have the impression of soaring new heights is good but if that feeling gives you the stress of not have done enough then it is a matter to worry. If you find there is a gap between what you achieved and what you wanted then it is okay because there should always be room for improvement. This gives an impetus to your efforts. You can without falling strive for more. 

But it can take an ugly turn if it becomes an obsession that you have not done enough. And in the process self-blaming starts which further leads to self-depreciation. No one else but we pull ourselves down. It is good to be your own critic but we should also know where to draw the line. When to appreciate and pat our own back and when to hold your own self responsible for the nonachievement of goals. 

It is not always good to point out our own shortcomings. As the accomplishments may be far bigger than the failures. Otherwise, frustration is the only thing that remains with you to drown you with the feeling that you have not done enough or you are not enough. 

Moreover, if you demoralise yourself, others will never hesitate to step over you. In this way, you are providing them with the opportunity to degrade you, disrespect you, and trample you in every way. 

So stop saying that you are not enough. stop insulting your own self. You are your own best friend. No one but you can put yourself in high esteem. It is you who spends all the time with your self. So never demean yourself. Always be in high spirits and tell yourself that You Are Enough......

You are Enough

 Most of us, nowadays, have started viewing ourselves from others'  perspectives. and as a result, a thought creeps into our minds that We Are Not Enough. This feeling creates a labyrinth, a non-ending spiral of presumptions that somewhere we are falling short of our own aims and goals. This leads to dissatisfaction. Always thinking that somewhere something is lagging behind. Whatever we do, whatever we achieve doesn't give us happiness. There is always a gap to be filled. Well, to have the impression of soaring new heights is good but if that feeling gives you the stress of not have done enough then it is a matter to worry. If you find there is a gap between what you achieved and what you wanted then it is okay because there should always be room for improvement. This gives an impetus to your efforts. You can without falling strive for more. 

But it can take an ugly turn if it becomes an obsession that you have not done enough. And in the process self-blaming starts which further leads to self-depreciation. No one else but we pull ourselves down. It is good to be your own critic but we should also know where to draw the line. When to appreciate and pat our own back and when to hold your own self responsible for the nonachievement of goals. 

It is not always good to point out our own shortcomings. As the accomplishments may be far bigger than the failures. Otherwise, frustration is the only thing that remains with you to drown you with the feeling that you have not done enough or you are not enough. 

Moreover, if you demoralise yourself, others will never hesitate to step over you. In this way, you are providing them with the opportunity to degrade you, disrespect you, and trample you in every way. 

So stop saying that you are not enough. stop insulting your own self. You are your own best friend. No one but you can put yourself in high esteem. It is you who spends all the time with your self. So never demean yourself. Always be in high spirits and tell yourself that You Are Enough......

Generating Positivity

Nowadays it has become fashionable to talk about positivity. Why is this so? Why do we talk about making a conscious effort to bring positive thoughts to our minds? Why there is a need of cleansing our minds of all sorts of negative thoughts?

Well, I think that first of all we should be aware of the fact that we are bombarded with negative thoughts. Identification is a must. Because we cannot treat the problem unless we know what is causing us trouble. Then only efforts can be made to resolve the complications. Unless and until we see the dirt how can we clean it?

It is but natural that we don't stuff our minds with damaging ideas deliberately. They are part of the thinking process. Many a time such views get stuck forever. Not only do such ideas stay, but they also attract all sorts of other poisonous beliefs too. These result in anxiety and depression and excessive worries and overthinking... The list goes on.
 
We must stop the process and try to break the chain of such unhealthy notions. Just as we make extra efforts to make dirty things tidy similarly we must try hard to remove such damaging thoughts from our minds.  We also need to recognize the fact that most of the time such thoughts are the results of the insecurities of our past. So let's be thoughtful while doing the cleansing thing.

So just as we sweep our abodes we need to cleanse our thoughts and their storehouse too.

Lazy Sunday

 

It is said that God made this world and its beings in six days and on the seventh day He took a rest. He looked at his creations and was happy about them all. The same rule applies to us humans also. Just as we work relentlessly throughout the week i.e. from Monday to Saturday we also need to recharge our batteries for the coming week. Or at least if not a particular Sunday any one day of the week should be taken for rest. 

It should be a rest day, not doing - the other - pending -work - day. One should get up late. Enjoy some late morning tea. Having brunch. Watch a movie. Going out. Have takeaway meals.  In other words, doing whatever refreshes you and you get ready to take the coming week head-on. Some of us do this but most of us have kept Sunday to do the leftover or pending household work. Cleaning. Washing. Buying groceries. Getting a haircut. Being engrossed in all this, we forget the real purpose of the weekly off day: to recharge our over-exhausted batteries. 

If we see all these in a broader perspective we may notice that all these activities are preparing us for the coming workdays. They are in a way preparing us but what I mean is about mental recreation. Where is the time for family, for your own self? If it is not possible to take out the whole day for yourself make it a point to keep a few hours or at least one hour for your own self. Do what you want to do. Groom yourself. Pamper yourself. Laze around. Sleep. Watch something online. There should be time at least once a week where you allow yourself to do the thing that you won't do otherwise. Plan a holiday with friends if possible. If not feasible, then plan to go on a solo trip. Do whatever it is possible for maintaining good mental health. Have a good "Me time".

Staying healthy mentally as well as physically should be our major goal because a healthy body and a sound peaceful mind can help you gain your other aims in life. Think and work out a plan to have a lazy day whenever possible.