Gratitude and forgiveness

As life moves forward, we slowly realise that peace doesn't always come from changing our circumstances. Sometimes, it comes from changing the way we look at life.

There are three things I am learning to do:

1. Be thankful for everything in life

Not everything that happens to us is what we wanted. Some experiences hurt. Some disappoint us. Some people leave scars.

But even difficult experiences can teach us something.

Gratitude doesn't mean pretending that everything is perfect. It means noticing what is still good—the people who love us, the lessons we have learned, the strength we have discovered, and simply the gift of being here.

Sometimes, "Thank you for this life" is enough.

2. You are not supposed to answer every question

Not every question deserves an answer.

You don't have to explain every decision, defend every feeling, justify every choice, or convince everyone that your intentions were good.

As we grow older, we learn that silence can be an answer too.

Some people will misunderstand you. Let them.

You don't have to participate in every argument simply because someone invited you into it.

Protecting your peace is sometimes more important than proving your point.

3. Learn to forgive yourself

We are often much kinder to others than we are to ourselves.

We remember our mistakes, our wrong decisions, the opportunities we missed, the words we wish we hadn't spoken and the things we wish we had done differently.

But we were learning then.

We were doing the best we could with the understanding, strength and circumstances we had at that time.

Forgiving yourself doesn't mean saying that everything you did was right. It means accepting that you are human.

You cannot change yesterday.

But you can stop allowing yesterday to punish you today.

Perhaps growing older is not about having all the answers.

Perhaps it is about needing fewer answers, carrying less guilt, and being more grateful for what we have.

Conversation is Beyond Talking

 Today's era can also be called the era of communication. There is a lot of dialogues and discussion going on. We Chat in various apps. Messages are being sent everyday.  We have quick updates on everything in no time. Voice notes are also a part of this chit chat. Silence is filled with all types of words. We TALK or we CONVERSE. We always stay connected.\, heard or not heard... that's a different story. 

Talking and conversing are two different things. Talk is casual and general.. it is what we do in our everyday lives at home, at work, and even online. But the real conversation is deep when we listen snd ruminate. Talking is like having a transaction where two or more people are speaking and no one is actually paying attention to what is being said. There is only exchange of words without any acknowledgement and comprehension.

On the other hand while conversing the level of understanding is high. things are listened to and comprehended also. It is about presence of the speaker and listener as well. A real conversations mellows down the pace and allows the words to sink in. You are not hurrying to finish your talk, you are letting the moments to unfold , even if it is no certain. It is not merely listening to the one who is talking but responding to. In a true conversation, words are not simply spoken or heard, they are received, chewed, and felt.

Talking is easy. Everything is under control. It is in your hand what you want to convey and what you don't want to reveal. Conversation is not the same. It is a live demonstration of your feelings, Which is why podcasts sound more real than the interviews. We see through people in the conversations. You don't have walls built when you converse. You share your emotions and be true to yourself. It is when people finally feel seen and not handled. There is a connection built up when we converse, it is not something made , it is felt. 

While talking you can be cautious about your reputation and all but during conversation you bare yourself which is why conversions sound real and more life like. You may risk your truth, as lower your guards while in conversation with some one. This is the reason why there are less of conversations as very few dare to let their secrets open.

Talking is everywhere whereas conversations are rare and few. Conversations are intentional. there is a direct communication between the two. Every on part of the conversation feels and listens and then takes it further. Simply talking may means only to react to what is being said. don't make a connection when we simply talk. But there is some bonding made when we converse . Now that relation is a true one.  

A genuine conversation can heal what a thousand empty words cannot. This is what conversations are meant for. Because at the end of the day, people don't just want to be heard and seen ..... they want to be felt

Saying NO

 Saying NO is not about becoming cold towards someone ... it is about becoming honest. Many a times it is not natural to say no. It can be about being honest. Most of the times we agree because of our upbringing as we are groomed to be helpful, accommodating and most of all agreeable. We may also be fearing disappointing others or being misunderstood or above all appearing to be inconsiderate. Rest assured saying no to someone may be considered as self-respect.  

Always saying yes to everyone and everything is about degenerating our own selves. Our time, our energy and most importantly our mental peace comes first, always. It is about letting the world know about our limits. It is for everyone to remember where the boundaries are. We need not explain ourselves to anybody... i mean anybody at all. As every time we agree to something we may not agree within us we distant ourself from out true self. Many a times it gets converted into exhaustion and even frustration. Boundaries are there to be maintained and respected by others as well as our own self. Such dividing lines grow stronger day by day as more you practice saying no, the more natural it becomes. You don't have to struggle all the time. As the time passes people around you also become aware of your not always agreeing to them. People start accepting as they know you are not pushing them away but leading to a healthy relationship. 

There can be times when there will be risk of being left out or judged or replaced. Saying yes may lead to keeping things smooth, relations unhindered and mainly keeping people happy. Saying yes out of habit can make you uncomfortable in the quieter times. We may  feel the weight of it. That heaviness can not just be translated into just fatigue but  disarray of thoughts. 

There will certainly be people who would be disappointed with your newly acquired behavior because they are not used to this new you who can say no to them now. Not because you are wrong but your new limits have disrupted their expectations. Let not such expectations disturb you and deviate you from your path of staying right. And also you are not responsible for how others feel about that. Your mental peace lies above all these. Self-neglect is not the kindness that is expected from you. Being constantly available is confused with being inconsiderate.

There can always be a new start. Start small. Practice saying no in everyday tasks where agreeing drags you down, demean you. So take a deep breath, take a brief pause and say no. That's all you have to do. But that does not mean that later on you repent on your no and you are doing what was being told to you. You will have to stand for yourself. For this you will have to understand your reasons for declining. When  you know why you said no; you become less guilty conscious. It may because of your priorities. Now that you are giving importance to your own self, you need not justify yourself to others. There is no need to make justifications in front of anyone, but it should feel good inside you only.

You will feel lighter once you achieve this. And slowly people around you will start respecting your limits. This will make you happier Because you chose your own self above everyone else.....

Growing through Change

 It is always said that change is not the enemy but a silent teacher. It is one of the major constants in our lives. Whether we accept it or not, welcome it or resist it, it exists, it continues to unfold before us, Things change, situations change. and so do the people. It happens not because life is unstable but because life is always on the move.  

Things tend to change, sometimes quietly, sometimes suddenly. one may feel that everything that is going in life [n a smooth manner and in a jiffy, things take a sudden turn, that change can be for bettre or for worse, only time will tell. Change may not always be comfortable, but one thing is sure that it is meaningful. the things which seem to be permanent part of life often turn slowly into memories. Time always moves ahead and so do people and things associated with them. Things, when they change, may bring clarity to the matters. 

Situations are circumstances or conditions, as we may find ourselves in at any given time. they are influenced by so many factors such as our environment, our choices, our responsibilities, our health preferences or even our relationships etc. Sometimes time is also a determiner of changes that happen around us. It is not who we are or what we are but where we are at a particular point of time. 

The alterations in the situations maybe seen or sometimes they may be invisible. What may look like everlasting today, can or will fade away tomorrow. It can transform into something else. And actually, when we comprehend that that everything is short lived and evolving, we stop being defined by them. A bad moment does not define the whole scenario. The change in situations teaches us patience, build resilience, bring up confidence, open our perspectives. We begin to realize that the situation is the not the whole story, It is only a small part of the big picture. They make us or break us. better to use this change in a better way, to grow stronger and wiser version of ourselves.

And, when other things are changing, how can people fall behind? People often grow, evolve, move to different directions. It is not always necessary that people move apart only because of some conflict or contradiction. It may be because of education, job, transfer, or even in search of better opportunities. In fact, we often expect people to remain the same, behave in the similar manner, have same outlook forever, that is, we want to see them as we met them the first day. but in reality, people do change, rather they evolve as they grow in life and experience a lot of things. sometimes they closer, sometimes they move apart, sometime become kinder. Whatever the change may be, but this is for real that they outgrow their old versions of themselves.

Truth is that the world around us is ever-changing. it is transforming every day. everything... values, culture, technology... everything keeps shifting. The things that seem impossible become common. Such changes bring development, progress and new beginnings. If we hold to older versions, it will result only in irritation and anger and frustration. 

Instead of opposing or fearing the change, go along with it. Life becomes easy when go with the flow and start trusting the process. They changes build us slowly and strengthen our foundation of life. we must choose to see change as life lessons that allows us to move through our lives with courage and clarity.....

Be gentle with yourself

                                 We often hear this phrase..... " Be kind to others". Actually, it is a good habit to inculcate. But have we ever thought of "Be kind to your own self." Just as the saying goes... Charity always begins at home. If we are not kind enough to our own selves, how can we offer grace to others? Kindness towards others is praiseworthy, but isn't it worth listening to one's own self, if not always, at least once in a while? Actually, it is to be done more often. It is like loving onwards, not outward.

                                  Being good to yourself does not equate to being selfish or indulgent. No, certainly not. It's about acknowledging your worth, listening to your needs, and treating yourself with the same compassion as you do to others. Self-care includes giving compliments to yourself when nobody is looking. It is not a luxury but a necessity, a quiet strength, as we need to take care of ourselves, too.

                                     It is often said that true beauty radiates from within. and being good to your own is in itself an act of kindness. If you are at peace with yourself, happy in your own, it will reflect on your face. Self-respect cleanses our soul and mind, and body.  The energy of those who are in awe of their own 

dispel a different type of aura. You can also say no to save your self-respect without feeling guilty. When you hold adoration for your emotions, a glow appears on your face.

                                        Learn to say  I am worthy, I am allowed to make mistakes, and then learn from those mistakes. It's good to be your own critic, but there is a fine line between being a critic and being rude.  Your inner voice may be quite loud and negative we just need to tone it down. Be gentle with yourself. Here's what we are not talking about self-pity pity but self-respect. We need to say this time and again... I am doing the best I can, and that's enough.

                                              One more aspect of self-love is taking rest whenever and wherever needed. It is not being lazy and lethargic. Rest is part of your routine that you need to break through the monotony of work. And taking rest is not committing blasphemy. You are a soul in a human body, and it is human to take rest. Taking a pause from your routine is not a crazy thing to do, but rather a wise decision to recharge your batteries, getting ready for new challenges. 

                                                      Another major thing that we can do for ourselves is not to run after perfection. Because Perfection is an Illusion. There is so much beauty in imperfection. It is about getting everything right,  in perfect order. It is about being real. And real means flaws, blunders, and making mistakes. The main thing is to get up every time you fall and learn to move ahead and grow from your fumbles. It is more than okay to be imperfect. 

                                                  Last but not least thing is to find joy in the little things of life. We must learn to enjoy morning tea, walking in a cool breeze, and raindrops falling on our faces. We must smile too often to enjoy the present moment. Even reading a good book can alleviate our mood and work wonders for us. These small gestures are not small at all - these are life-saving.

                    So, beginning from today, Be Gentle to Yourself. Say only good things to yourself. Be soft with your heart. Nourish your soul. Because you are beautiful. You deserve all the best things in your life. Just because YOU ARE WORTH IT>

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Self Care is Therapy

Life can get a little or sometimes a lot overwhelming. There are so many things to do, so many goals to achieve, so many deadlines to meet or so many expectations to have. There are pilings of emotions and responsibilities that pull us in every possible direction. We deal with all these effectively and tactfully. The only thing that gets forgotten or often neglected is our own self. 

               And which is why self care has become more than necessity. In the world that is constantly demanding our attention, energy, and time self care takes us back to our own self. It is our decision to protect our peace, respect and needs and choose our own well being unapologetically. 

                 Mind you, self care not only means having face masks and spas and baths everytime, it is whole lot more than that. Though these rituals matter. An occasional warm bath, a slow cup of tea, even a skin care routine can have a lot soothing effect. But self care include a tonne more than that. It needn't be a big, fancy, or perfect. It's a small, loving ways you return to yourself - daily. It can be a deep breath, a moment of silence or a hard NO, it c-o-u-n-t-s.

              Saying NO is an art to refuse to do something without hurting someone. It's a way of telling others what you want. And for this, you must know first hand what you want so that you can see that you are not getting it. You have to know your values. There is right or wrong way to do this. Just make sure that you are honest, uncompromising, and not under anyone's influence.

              Next comes stepping away from toxic people and their conversations that take away your peace of mind. Don't take everything to heart, don't make every conversation  personal. You need to understand that such people's behaviour arises from their own issues and not a reflection of you. 

               Self-care includes listening to your self, catering to your own needs, your own emotions. And when you begin to do that you experience a different kind of calmness prevailing in your mind. In the process you start pinpointing the emotions that are hindering your tranquility. Just as you start recognising the things which are stopping you, you will slowly have your power back. And then your peace will be your own and not dependent on anyone else. 

                You may have noticed till now that self care is not at all about being selfish. It is for the survival. It is supposed to be maintainance of self. It is the most basic things that can be done for for your own being. It is having self respect. Just because you take care of yourself,  in a way, you tell the world how you are to be treated. Above all, you yourself remind that you are worth the care. Self care is how we heal, how we reset, and how we reclaim our peace. 

Just as someone said.

" Self care is not a luxury,

 it's a declaration 

I am worth my own time,

Energy and love.."

So this week do something that reminds you...... I MATTER.......

              

Wanderlust......

 Wanderlust is hunger. It is a strong desire to travel and explore the world. In today's world, life tends to be busy and stressful. So it becomes necessary to cut all the ties from the daily routine for a while to relax and reset the system. Traveling is getting out of your comfort zone and getting exposure to new things, getting to know new people, and getting the hang of new traditions and cultures of new places. Coming across things other than your daily life makes you more understanding and adjust to different situations. Travel is about pushing yourself out of your comfortable life to try new things. Our daily routine at home and work can make us stuck, stagnant, and uninspired. It also helps to break the monotony of our regular life and allows us to experience and explore the novelties of things and people around us. 

Along with this, traveling aids you in embracing new perspectives by visiting new places, meeting new people, come in contact with new cultures helps build confidence which may help us to communicate with strangers. Wanderlust boosts your urge to experience the unknown and be able to face the unseen. It also expands our capacity to wonder and appreciate the diversity of our world. it enables us to love the world and enjoy being in the moment. 

For the young generation, it serves as the experience of getting knowledge of new people, places, food, and traditions.  It is always better to have first-hand experience than to read it from the books. It is like rewiring our brains as they get ready to adapt to new conditions and atmospheres. You become ready to be creative and accept new ideas. this is why wanderlust brings happiness and joy to otherwise dull and colorless lives. Moreover, meeting new people, learning new languages, and tasting new food promotes a sense of compassion, It also heightens our tolerance as it alleviates our willingness to receive the newness of this world wholeheartedly. Travel reduces the fears that come out of the misunderstanding about certain people and places. On the other hand, it induces love and happiness when we are surrounded by new experiences at new places with new people in a new environment. 

Traveling generates fresh memories of life and further cements our belief in the wonders of interpersonal relationships. The one who travels will be able to tell the elation and delights of discovering the latest things and the pleasure of meeting people altogether gives excitement beyond measure. Coming together with new people from different backgrounds gives insight into their lives and helps us decipher what they think and why they think the way they do. 

You gain so much wealth of knowledge and experience as you have so much to tell about the places you've been, people you've met, food you've eaten, and things you've seen. Every time you travel, it's a wholesome experience in itself. Each time the journey brings forth new challenges, and unique places to visit which help us to discover our own strengths am weaknesses, likes and dislikes, etc. 

Basically. traveling is amazing in knowing the world around us and also discovering new things about our own self. It will not be an understatement to say that travel gives us experience, teaches us gratitude and works on personal growth.