Conversation is Beyond Talking

 Today's era can also be called the era of communication. There is a lot of dialogues and discussion going on. We Chat in various apps. Messages are being sent everyday.  We have quick updates on everything in no time. Voice notes are also a part of this chit chat. Silence is filled with all types of words. We TALK or we CONVERSE. We always stay connected.\, heard or not heard... that's a different story. 

Talking and conversing are two different things. Talk is casual and general.. it is what we do in our everyday lives at home, at work, and even online. But the real conversation is deep when we listen snd ruminate. Talking is like having a transaction where two or more people are speaking and no one is actually paying attention to what is being said. There is only exchange of words without any acknowledgement and comprehension.

On the other hand while conversing the level of understanding is high. things are listened to and comprehended also. It is about presence of the speaker and listener as well. A real conversations mellows down the pace and allows the words to sink in. You are not hurrying to finish your talk, you are letting the moments to unfold , even if it is no certain. It is not merely listening to the one who is talking but responding to. In a true conversation, words are not simply spoken or heard, they are received, chewed, and felt.

Talking is easy. Everything is under control. It is in your hand what you want to convey and what you don't want to reveal. Conversation is not the same. It is a live demonstration of your feelings, Which is why podcasts sound more real than the interviews. We see through people in the conversations. You don't have walls built when you converse. You share your emotions and be true to yourself. It is when people finally feel seen and not handled. There is a connection built up when we converse, it is not something made , it is felt. 

While talking you can be cautious about your reputation and all but during conversation you bare yourself which is why conversions sound real and more life like. You may risk your truth, as lower your guards while in conversation with some one. This is the reason why there are less of conversations as very few dare to let their secrets open.

Talking is everywhere whereas conversations are rare and few. Conversations are intentional. there is a direct communication between the two. Every on part of the conversation feels and listens and then takes it further. Simply talking may means only to react to what is being said. don't make a connection when we simply talk. But there is some bonding made when we converse . Now that relation is a true one.  

A genuine conversation can heal what a thousand empty words cannot. This is what conversations are meant for. Because at the end of the day, people don't just want to be heard and seen ..... they want to be felt

Saying NO

 Saying NO is not about becoming cold towards someone ... it is about becoming honest. Many a times it is not natural to say no. It can be about being honest. Most of the times we agree because of our upbringing as we are groomed to be helpful, accommodating and most of all agreeable. We may also be fearing disappointing others or being misunderstood or above all appearing to be inconsiderate. Rest assured saying no to someone may be considered as self-respect.  

Always saying yes to everyone and everything is about degenerating our own selves. Our time, our energy and most importantly our mental peace comes first, always. It is about letting the world know about our limits. It is for everyone to remember where the boundaries are. We need not explain ourselves to anybody... i mean anybody at all. As every time we agree to something we may not agree within us we distant ourself from out true self. Many a times it gets converted into exhaustion and even frustration. Boundaries are there to be maintained and respected by others as well as our own self. Such dividing lines grow stronger day by day as more you practice saying no, the more natural it becomes. You don't have to struggle all the time. As the time passes people around you also become aware of your not always agreeing to them. People start accepting as they know you are not pushing them away but leading to a healthy relationship. 

There can be times when there will be risk of being left out or judged or replaced. Saying yes may lead to keeping things smooth, relations unhindered and mainly keeping people happy. Saying yes out of habit can make you uncomfortable in the quieter times. We may  feel the weight of it. That heaviness can not just be translated into just fatigue but  disarray of thoughts. 

There will certainly be people who would be disappointed with your newly acquired behavior because they are not used to this new you who can say no to them now. Not because you are wrong but your new limits have disrupted their expectations. Let not such expectations disturb you and deviate you from your path of staying right. And also you are not responsible for how others feel about that. Your mental peace lies above all these. Self-neglect is not the kindness that is expected from you. Being constantly available is confused with being inconsiderate.

There can always be a new start. Start small. Practice saying no in everyday tasks where agreeing drags you down, demean you. So take a deep breath, take a brief pause and say no. That's all you have to do. But that does not mean that later on you repent on your no and you are doing what was being told to you. You will have to stand for yourself. For this you will have to understand your reasons for declining. When  you know why you said no; you become less guilty conscious. It may because of your priorities. Now that you are giving importance to your own self, you need not justify yourself to others. There is no need to make justifications in front of anyone, but it should feel good inside you only.

You will feel lighter once you achieve this. And slowly people around you will start respecting your limits. This will make you happier Because you chose your own self above everyone else.....