Saying NO

 Saying NO is not about becoming cold towards someone ... it is about becoming honest. Many a times it is not natural to say no. It can be about being honest. Most of the times we agree because of our upbringing as we are groomed to be helpful, accommodating and most of all agreeable. We may also be fearing disappointing others or being misunderstood or above all appearing to be inconsiderate. Rest assured saying no to someone may be considered as self-respect.  

Always saying yes to everyone and everything is about degenerating our own selves. Our time, our energy and most importantly our mental peace comes first, always. It is about letting the world know about our limits. It is for everyone to remember where the boundaries are. We need not explain ourselves to anybody... i mean anybody at all. As every time we agree to something we may not agree within us we distant ourself from out true self. Many a times it gets converted into exhaustion and even frustration. Boundaries are there to be maintained and respected by others as well as our own self. Such dividing lines grow stronger day by day as more you practice saying no, the more natural it becomes. You don't have to struggle all the time. As the time passes people around you also become aware of your not always agreeing to them. People start accepting as they know you are not pushing them away but leading to a healthy relationship. 

There can be times when there will be risk of being left out or judged or replaced. Saying yes may lead to keeping things smooth, relations unhindered and mainly keeping people happy. Saying yes out of habit can make you uncomfortable in the quieter times. We may  feel the weight of it. That heaviness can not just be translated into just fatigue but  disarray of thoughts. 

There will certainly be people who would be disappointed with your newly acquired behavior because they are not used to this new you who can say no to them now. Not because you are wrong but your new limits have disrupted their expectations. Let not such expectations disturb you and deviate you from your path of staying right. And also you are not responsible for how others feel about that. Your mental peace lies above all these. Self-neglect is not the kindness that is expected from you. Being constantly available is confused with being inconsiderate.

There can always be a new start. Start small. Practice saying no in everyday tasks where agreeing drags you down, demean you. So take a deep breath, take a brief pause and say no. That's all you have to do. But that does not mean that later on you repent on your no and you are doing what was being told to you. You will have to stand for yourself. For this you will have to understand your reasons for declining. When  you know why you said no; you become less guilty conscious. It may because of your priorities. Now that you are giving importance to your own self, you need not justify yourself to others. There is no need to make justifications in front of anyone, but it should feel good inside you only.

You will feel lighter once you achieve this. And slowly people around you will start respecting your limits. This will make you happier Because you chose your own self above everyone else.....