healing is a process..

 It is said that time is the best healer. It is not such that things turn good and the wounds on our souls are healed. Actually, as time passes we tend to forget the actual pain and hurt caused by some person or some unpleasant incident or some personal loss; in the process, the feeling of distress gets reduced. As a result, we have a feeling that the sting of the wound has healed. In case we keep the wound and the pain very much by reliving the painful moments again and again, the uneasiness and the sorrow always remain there. this anguish can be with us even if many years pass. We can still be mortified as our wounds may bleed time and again and cause as much pain as they did the very first time.

what we observe from this is that the healing process of hurts is a mental process and not physical. Just as in our childhood, our boo-boos were cured by our mother's gentle touch and kiss. She used to make us feel better sometimes just by picking us up, wiping our tears, and listening to our endless rants. Her touch would heal our cuts and gashes and fights, healed our pains, and eased our suffering. Do our mothers have magical powers? No doubt, magic was there. but in our minds. We have an unshakable faith and trust in our mothers. In our minds, we consider them our safest haven. Our brain used to tell us that everything is going to be alright which in turn eased our discomfort.

But when we grow up we forget the power of healing. We need to remind ourselves to patch our trauma. start learning to get well and making ourselves better on our own. To begin with, we ought to learn to forget the pain, as we keep on clinging to the saddening feeling it will no longer serve us better. It will make the matter worse. The longer we keep our attention on the pain the stronger the impact, and the pain becomes worse and worse. As we keep on reminiscing, the same amount of pain and unhappiness will be experienced every time. so dear ones, it's time to move on. Yesssss. Move on. and let's just stop scratching the old wounds and begin with the healing.  

Why be Happy

                                                            A few days ago, I read a story about a childhood story of John Lennon. In his school, his class teacher asked all the kids what they wanted to be when they grew up. Someone said he wanted to become a doctor, some wanted to become an engineer, a few wanted to fly a plane, and even one wanted to be an astronaut. Little John, who was sitting at the back of the class and was listening to what his mates were saying. When the teacher asked him the same question, he replied that he wanted to be HAPPY when he grows up. Everyone started laughing at him. But the teacher called him.  Her eyes teared up because she understood the gravity of the little one's answer.

                                                            Actually, only this is what all matters ... HAPPINESS. It is the only thing that we strive for our whole lives. We struggle to achieve our goals, whatever it may be. Do all sorts of things to be happy. buy new clothes. Travel. Eat. Sleep. Work. Earn money and many other things. All this is done to be happy. So now, the question arises why we want to be happy. The reason is that being happy generates a feeling of fulfillment. It makes us feel good. It makes us satiated. 

All of us want to have a healthy and excellent relationship with our life partners, kids, friends, colleagues, subordinates, business partners, and whatnot. when we have a lovely alliance with people associated with us it gives satisfaction which in turn makes us happy. this satisfaction leads to the conclusion that whatever efforts were put into the smooth going of the purpose, it has achieved its goal. the efforts were worthy. this belief keeps us going ahead in life.

It is basic nature that we want good results in whatever we do. All the hard work would be put in to obtain the desired results.  No one wants to do a fruitless job. Remuneration in any term will always be welcome. That would bring happiness. sometimes hefty payments also lead to stress and depression because the satisfaction and the outcome do not feel upright. the positive results are always easy to deal with as compared to the negative ones. positive results keep us going ahead whereas the opposite ones force us to get stalled and work better on the same all over again.

There are so many situations that we face in our lives. Some are  easy to tackle as others make us sweat a lot. but what matters, in the end, is a decent outcome. That will make all the trials worthwhile. and make us a happy souls. 

and again get ready for the next battle of life.

Stay happy and go ahead in life.

You Are Enough

 Most of us, nowadays, have started viewing ourselves from others'  perspectives. and as a result, a thought creeps into our minds that We Are Not Enough. This feeling creates a labyrinth, a non-ending spiral of presumptions that somewhere we are falling short of our own aims and goals. This leads to dissatisfaction. Always thinking that somewhere something is lagging behind. Whatever we do, whatever we achieve doesn't give us happiness. There is always a gap to be filled. Well, to have the impression of soaring new heights is good but if that feeling gives you the stress of not have done enough then it is a matter to worry. If you find there is a gap between what you achieved and what you wanted then it is okay because there should always be room for improvement. This gives an impetus to your efforts. You can without falling strive for more. 

But it can take an ugly turn if it becomes an obsession that you have not done enough. And in the process self-blaming starts which further leads to self-depreciation. No one else but we pull ourselves down. It is good to be your own critic but we should also know where to draw the line. When to appreciate and pat our own back and when to hold your own self responsible for the nonachievement of goals. 

It is not always good to point out our own shortcomings. As the accomplishments may be far bigger than the failures. Otherwise, frustration is the only thing that remains with you to drown you with the feeling that you have not done enough or you are not enough. 

Moreover, if you demoralise yourself, others will never hesitate to step over you. In this way, you are providing them with the opportunity to degrade you, disrespect you, and trample you in every way. 

So stop saying that you are not enough. stop insulting your own self. You are your own best friend. No one but you can put yourself in high esteem. It is you who spends all the time with your self. So never demean yourself. Always be in high spirits and tell yourself that You Are Enough......

You are Enough

 Most of us, nowadays, have started viewing ourselves from others'  perspectives. and as a result, a thought creeps into our minds that We Are Not Enough. This feeling creates a labyrinth, a non-ending spiral of presumptions that somewhere we are falling short of our own aims and goals. This leads to dissatisfaction. Always thinking that somewhere something is lagging behind. Whatever we do, whatever we achieve doesn't give us happiness. There is always a gap to be filled. Well, to have the impression of soaring new heights is good but if that feeling gives you the stress of not have done enough then it is a matter to worry. If you find there is a gap between what you achieved and what you wanted then it is okay because there should always be room for improvement. This gives an impetus to your efforts. You can without falling strive for more. 

But it can take an ugly turn if it becomes an obsession that you have not done enough. And in the process self-blaming starts which further leads to self-depreciation. No one else but we pull ourselves down. It is good to be your own critic but we should also know where to draw the line. When to appreciate and pat our own back and when to hold your own self responsible for the nonachievement of goals. 

It is not always good to point out our own shortcomings. As the accomplishments may be far bigger than the failures. Otherwise, frustration is the only thing that remains with you to drown you with the feeling that you have not done enough or you are not enough. 

Moreover, if you demoralise yourself, others will never hesitate to step over you. In this way, you are providing them with the opportunity to degrade you, disrespect you, and trample you in every way. 

So stop saying that you are not enough. stop insulting your own self. You are your own best friend. No one but you can put yourself in high esteem. It is you who spends all the time with your self. So never demean yourself. Always be in high spirits and tell yourself that You Are Enough......

Generating Positivity

Nowadays it has become fashionable to talk about positivity. Why is this so? Why do we talk about making a conscious effort to bring positive thoughts to our minds? Why there is a need of cleansing our minds of all sorts of negative thoughts?

Well, I think that first of all we should be aware of the fact that we are bombarded with negative thoughts. Identification is a must. Because we cannot treat the problem unless we know what is causing us trouble. Then only efforts can be made to resolve the complications. Unless and until we see the dirt how can we clean it?

It is but natural that we don't stuff our minds with damaging ideas deliberately. They are part of the thinking process. Many a time such views get stuck forever. Not only do such ideas stay, but they also attract all sorts of other poisonous beliefs too. These result in anxiety and depression and excessive worries and overthinking... The list goes on.
 
We must stop the process and try to break the chain of such unhealthy notions. Just as we make extra efforts to make dirty things tidy similarly we must try hard to remove such damaging thoughts from our minds.  We also need to recognize the fact that most of the time such thoughts are the results of the insecurities of our past. So let's be thoughtful while doing the cleansing thing.

So just as we sweep our abodes we need to cleanse our thoughts and their storehouse too.

Lazy Sunday

 

It is said that God made this world and its beings in six days and on the seventh day He took a rest. He looked at his creations and was happy about them all. The same rule applies to us humans also. Just as we work relentlessly throughout the week i.e. from Monday to Saturday we also need to recharge our batteries for the coming week. Or at least if not a particular Sunday any one day of the week should be taken for rest. 

It should be a rest day, not doing - the other - pending -work - day. One should get up late. Enjoy some late morning tea. Having brunch. Watch a movie. Going out. Have takeaway meals.  In other words, doing whatever refreshes you and you get ready to take the coming week head-on. Some of us do this but most of us have kept Sunday to do the leftover or pending household work. Cleaning. Washing. Buying groceries. Getting a haircut. Being engrossed in all this, we forget the real purpose of the weekly off day: to recharge our over-exhausted batteries. 

If we see all these in a broader perspective we may notice that all these activities are preparing us for the coming workdays. They are in a way preparing us but what I mean is about mental recreation. Where is the time for family, for your own self? If it is not possible to take out the whole day for yourself make it a point to keep a few hours or at least one hour for your own self. Do what you want to do. Groom yourself. Pamper yourself. Laze around. Sleep. Watch something online. There should be time at least once a week where you allow yourself to do the thing that you won't do otherwise. Plan a holiday with friends if possible. If not feasible, then plan to go on a solo trip. Do whatever it is possible for maintaining good mental health. Have a good "Me time".

Staying healthy mentally as well as physically should be our major goal because a healthy body and a sound peaceful mind can help you gain your other aims in life. Think and work out a plan to have a lazy day whenever possible.

 

Indian words in English language

It is said that every language should be adaptive of new words. It should be continuously developing, coining new words, adding more vocabulary to it. Otherwise it would be called a dead language. It is a fact that language keep on evolving over the time. The meanings of the words may change. Many words go out of use and many new words come into being. One of the major reasons behind such alterations is migration. People migrate from from one place to another and interact with people speaking other language. In order to get accepted knowingly or unknowingly new words and expressions become part of  to the language. And English is not an exception. This type of diversification is part of journey of any language. 

The British were here in India for more than three centuries . So it was but natural for the British to adopt words from Indian languages and anglicize them. Most of them are now part of English language dictionaries too. Basically the British were different from Indians as chalk and cheese and so were their languages. Language was a barrier to connecting with Indians . On the other hand Indians were obliged to  learn english as it was official language of British India . Thus it was a middle path for the British to incorporate some Indian words in their spoken language , at least, for better communication. Let's view some of them.

bunglow                  Bengali       bangla used for a big house with garden. 
cot                           Hindi           khat or khatiya
tomtom                    Hindi           horse driven coach
palanquin                Hindi           palki or a single person conveyance, carried by several men
avatar                      Hindi           the descent of a deity from heaven
bandana                  Hindi           bandhana or tying or to tie something
bangle                     Hindi           bangri  or a type of bracelet
blighty                    Hindi            vilayti  used for a foreigner especially from England
cheetah                   Hindi            cheetah
cummerband          Persian          kamarband means waist band
dacoit                      Hindi           daku means bandits or a group of outlaws who commit planned robberies
dungaree                Marathi         trouser worn by labors from dongri area of Mumbai
masala                    Urdu             mixture of herbs and spices
guru                        Hindi            teacher
jodhpurs                                       trousers loose at thighs and tight below knees. It was worn mainly for                                                       horse riding. It is named after the city of jodhpur.
jungle                     Sanskrit          uncultivated land or forest where wild animals live.
khaki                      Urdu               of dusty color   derived from word khak i,e. dust
karma                     Sanskrit          result of one's actions
loot                         Hindi              robbery
maharaja                Hindi             a great king
mantra                   Sanskrit          chant or meditation
pundit                    Hindi              scholar or the learned one
pyjamas                 Urdu              garment to be worn on leg
sepoy                     Persian           sipahi or soldier
shampoo                Hindi              champo i.e.  rubbing oil in hair and then washing them
roti                         Hindi               Indian flat bread made from wheat