Forgive yourself.....

In life, you carry a lot of burden in your heads and hearts. You keep on piling on all sorts of hurts and pains in them. These could have been caused by others or could be self-inflicted. You keep on getting hurt time and again. Actually you don’t know what letting go is. What acceptance is? You simply are nailed into all these agonies. You are actually then hanging to the past. In a way you never know how to live in present.

What happens is, when someone hurts you, you keep on ruminating the incident again and again. Then you either blame others or you keep on blaming yourself for all the miseries. You keep on replaying them in your minds and thinking about all the answers you might have given. The things you might have done to stop them from hurting you. Even blame yourself for not leaving them. There are so many questions that remain unanswered and that’s what causes discomfort.

What you forget is that you cannot reverse the happening. You cannot go back into the past and change what had happened. So need to accept what has happened and realize the fact that what has happened has happened. No amount of lamenting and self-cursing can change it. So make peace with it. Let’s accept the fact.

Next step is to forgive yourself. Unless and until you make peace with your past you become miserable in the present. Make peace with your own self. And move forward in life. It will lead to the beautiful road to a beautiful life.  `

Choose to be happy...

You may or may not agree with me that there are certain days in our life when nothing goes right. Whatever you do goes wrong in one way or the other. All our efforts to mend go astray. Nothing seems to work right for you. And you are engulfed with stress, anxiety, and depression. As a result, being sad and gloomy becomes your routine. It lingers on and on and on…

For some days you won’t be able to figure out what is happening. By the time you realise that this was depression and sadness, you are addicted to it. Confidence is replaced by self pity. Remaining low becomes a habit. You won’t get out because somewhere inside you, you start enjoying such mental status.  You may feel like crying sometimes. And on some days you may cry your heart and lungs out. Even then you my not feel relieved or relaxed. 
Then the situation worsens. You start avoiding people. Shut yourself from the world. You don’t make eye contact anymore. You finish your work and rush back to your hideout. You start sitting alone for hours together and still have no thoughts. You stare into oblivion.

Believe me that’s when you need to take a U turn. Start making conscious efforts to be happy. Even if you don’t want to. Smile forcibly. Laugh out loud. Listen to music. Watch comedy… some stand ups may be… It is the only way out of the deep well of sadness. It is not something that you read in a book or see in a movie… it is real, so very real… being sad or happy is in our hands. It is our own choice.

Make the right choice. Bring happiness back in your life. As down the years you will laugh at your silliness about being lamenting over petty and unimportant things.

Of all the other things, you are who matters the most. So make yourself choose happiness over sadness…

What will the people say?

 This is the phrase which we have said or heard most of our lives. Our lives are governed by these five words ' what will the people say'. Actually who are these people who influence our lives so much. These are the one who live in and around our homes, offices, schools, colleges… or even passer byes. They may be or not may be related to us. In many cases they may not even know us properly. But it is their sole right to criticise all without knowing the exact situation. They simply pass the judgements. That’s all. And we take them seriously.
Most of the times we see that these judgements adversely affect us. We may want to do something or we can say anything… first thing that would come to our minds what will others say to this. How will the people react, do or say to this. Before our own approval we need others' nod. Well it is not so that we should not think about others . We should . But not at the cost of our mental peace. We should consider others opinions. When it concerns them, not when we are talking about our own individual choices.
What happens is that in giving importance to others we forget the most important person about whom all the thing is about. Most of the times it is about us own self. In keeping others happy and satisfied we keep on hurting ourselves . In pleasing others we neglect our own feelings, our own likes or dislikes. This actually harms our minds and thoughts. Only one life is given to us and that too we spend in pleasing others. When will we live for our own selves.
Keep in mind we are our own worlds. We may keep in view our loved ones or family or in that matter our friends but that too not at the cost of our own happiness. Because if we are happy and satisfied souls we will be able to make others also happy. Make this world a better place by being happy without caring about what the people will say….

life is beautiful

Life is beautiful as long as we are living. It is alive even with our struggles and all the problems that we face in our lives. All the happiness and good things are of use when we are alive. These exist when we exist. all the success , all the failures are fruitful when we live. All of us have been living lives that are full of all sorts of events.. good, bad, hurtful, joyous.. all sorts. We may experience fullness of life and sometimes it may seem all empty, useless. What to do? What can be done? 

When things don't go our way it does not look beautiful at all. At least for that moment. So how and why do we say 'life is beautiful'. Well at least we are alive.. Isn't that a thing to be happy about? We can always take a u-turn even if nothing is working right. As long as we are breathing there is always a hope to do better. We need to look for the options to make the change. We have to steer our lives out of the storm, always. Mind it, all of us are capable of doing so. The matter of concern is that we never try. 

Look for the ways you can redirect your life. Put back you life on rails. Surely it is not easy but why not give it a shot. Trying is always better than doing nothing at all. It is possible that there might not be many choices to make, but take whatever it is. Make it happen. What is the worst case scenario? You may not succeed at the beginning. Keep on working on the failures. Aim towards achieving the success. With determination and hard work things are going to turn your way. 

Never forget what you already have. Look for the positive side of every incident. Keep in mind that there is always a silver lining to the dark clouds. Things never remain the same. Change is bound to happen. If good days are no more there, the dark phase is also going to be over sooner or later. Count your blessings. Be thankful that its not over yet. Always remember that if it is not a happy ending it is not an end.. Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost...

To begin with, start with yourself. Appreciate your own efforts. Be in peace with yourself. If there are changes to be brought, change your attitude first. Cultivate positive thoughts. Rediscover yourself. Pursue a hobby, preferably art or singing or playing an instrument. You are never too old for these things. There is always a new beginning. Never hesitate to start afresh.

So get up. Shake it off. Shun all the negative thoughts. Generate new ideas.

And never forget.....

 LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL

Make Choices

Many a times it happens in our lives that we get stuck with a person or experience which happened sometime back. They have a long term impact on our lives. Our present gets influenced by decisions taken in the past. We learn lessons and change our behaviour accordingly. Sometimes this strategy proves to be good. Problem arises when we drag our past into our future. It is good to remain cautious but it may prevent us from taking a leap of faith.

Any disappointment of past must not find its way into the future. Instead of being afraid and be negatively influenced by bad experiences, we should learn to remove the pot holes. We should be able to see clearly after the storm is over and build new and stronger shelters. So, instead of being afraid to go out in a thunder storm we should be able to face them with courage and brevity.

After the disaster in past we must plan well and work harder. Then there would be no chance of failure. Our failures should be stepping stones and not the hindrances towards success. The bad experiences don’t matter. What actually matters is how long we stick to them, how long we rely on them in order to take decisions. Our excessive cautiousness will have an impact on every move which is not good for our decision making power. We should have a constructive attitude towards life and everything related with it. We can make a choice about what we want to become and what to do next. They say ' what we think, we become'. 

We have no control on the circumstances whatsoever. But what is in hands is our response to such situations, whether we panic or think of a way out of problem. It is our choice. For this we need to listen to our instinct and trust it too. It may seem absurd at times but we need to trust. 

So let’s leave our fears and apprehensions behind and move ahead. 

Nothing changes like change

It is always said that change is the spice of life .. and the change comes in all shapes and sizes, in all the forms, all the times and all the aspects of life. There are many times in our lives when we think that nothing is changing but if we see a little bit carefully, lots of things have gone through the process of change.

Let's take example of traveling. There has been drastic advancement in the means and modes of transport. From speed to the looks of transportation, a lot has got under the change. I still remember as a kid when we use to travel, there was no need for reservation of seats in the train.  Simply we needed to go and occupy the seats and that's all. Gave a happy and safe journey. But one thing is for sure that the speed and the loom of the railways was something else. If we sit back and ponder over such memories we realise that we have certainly come a long way....

In between years things have  modified on lot. Slowly and steadily population increase and with that there was a stress on the trains also. As a result booking of seats became a compulsory thing. Lots of changes were there in the coaches which catered to the needs of the travellers.  In the mean time we also started doing that.

Now the scene has become more complicated. It has become almost impossible to travel without making reservation in the trains. That too if it is long journey and also along with family and friends. We too have shifted from sleeper class to A//C sleeper. Now we too travel with class. And even by air too. 

The people around us however remain the same. By same I mean all types of co passengers who were there in the A/C class compartment then and even now when we travel ac coach . There no change in variety of people. Some are very friendly and will be always ready to share their space with you. While there are others too who refuse to budge a little because it is their seat. They forget that every body has to get off the train, leave the compartment and the co passengers behind and get off at their respective destinations. There are kids, there  are old people, then there are people of all the colors and habits.

So it  won't be wrong to say that 

There is nothing so constant as  change itself 

Letting go...

In our lifetime we meet many people, who play their part in forming us, making us. Sometimes the experience is good but at times we may not be that lucky. Whatever the case may be, we never forget the experience. It remains etched in our minds for a long, long time. If the experience is bad i.e. they have harmed us mentally or physically, it remains with us lifelong. We are bruised for life. Sometimes the wounds cut so deep that it takes forever to heal. No matter how much the time passes the memory of that horrible incident fills our hearts with the same amount of bitterness. We are filled with the same hurt and grief.

At such moments we are asked to 'let go'. Sometimes we do that without actually knowing the meaning of 'letting it go'.  It seems that we have let the pain and the hurt go but most of the times it is not so. It remains with us whole time. The hurt and the agony it has caused never ceases.  It remains there and never goes away. We bleed every time when we remember that particular person or incident. Every time we suffer the same sadness. It is just like as if someone has hit us with a stone and we are bleeding. He goes away after  striking us one time. And what we do? Instead of healing and tending to the wound we pick the same stone and keep on hitting on the same spot. Which is why the soreness never goes. It is actually us that causes more suffering.

What actually happens is that we never let it go. We are still holding to it. We are still holding the hurt tightly. So what really letting something go means? It is accepting the fact that someone has hurt us bad in the past. And saying that yes he has hurt me, but that was in the past. Why am i carrying the burden of something which was told to me some time back? We just need to tend to it and put that away. Flush it away. We simply need to do that. Believe me, the pain will cease. 

This is a process which we must learn to keep peace with ourselves. This is letting go. We will not feel the hurt and even forget it at some point of time. That person or that incident become non existent to you. No more tears well up in your eyes . No more rushes of anger . It can be difficult in the beginning but once you build a habit it becomes easy. It will become an essential part of your life. 

This does not mean that people will stop hurting us. No, certainly not. We will be hurt and tortured. But we will be at peace as everytime someone is mean to us we will keep on letting it go. In this way every time the pain will go in no time. You will free yourself from the burden of something that was said or done to you in the past. The memory of that horrible incident will not bring tears in your eyes anymore. When that happens... be sure that you have let it go. 

Just like that...

Happiness lies in 'letting it go'

It is bliss

It is mental peace

Sheer calmness....